tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-44808350952888004322024-03-13T16:31:15.893+02:00in His hands"Your grace has found me just as I am: empty handed, but alive in your hands. Forever I am changed by your love, in the presence of your Majesty."
-Deliriouserinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10389647000861315289noreply@blogger.comBlogger222125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4480835095288800432.post-91682981702388588102012-05-07T09:15:00.001+02:002012-05-07T09:15:30.665+02:00Home is....<br />
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This post is long overdue. But I find myself in that place (again) trying to
figure out what I’m doing and where I’m going and funny enough....the answer
isn’t coming...and if you KNOW me well...you KNOW I don’t sit still well...in
the place of not knowing; without definition or purpose or meaning. I’m a
processor and rationalizer and I’m processing and rationalizing and I’m
continually coming up short. And if you know me well, you also know I don’t
make a next move till I’m sure....doesn’t mean it has to make sense....I just
have to be sure. And since I’ve been back home, it’s just been that. One tiny
step after another, trusting, and believing, and knowing that God has some crazy
plan cooking up, but not having any clue what that big picture looks like. I
just know, I’m in this weird waiting/preparation stage and I’m not getting
answers and thus, I’m stuck sitting. In the worst place....where you’re right
where you are supposed to be but it’s not really what’s next, and you don’t
really have a passion for where you are in the now, but you know God’s doing
something and you are here in this season for something and you can’t really go
backwards or forwards and so you just kinda sit there. helpless. Which, also,
if you know me, does NOT jive well. But it’s exactly where God wants and needs
me to be for the moment. (probably cause I, ummm, don’t listen so well, when I
can help myself...read blogs from last summer for more
explanation). Anyway, I’ve started this blog a thousand times in my head, but I
have no clue where it’s going to land, so I keep pressing the delete button.
But after this week, and this morning, and tonight, I figured I should. So I’ll
back up.....</div>
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Ever since coming home I always hear some of the same questions when people
find out I lived in Africa. And sometimes I can answer them...and sometimes, I
have no clue where to start and so I probably give the simple diluted answer
which suffices them enough, but is nowhere near the whole truth. One of these
questions is....how do you come back to this after seeing that/how has it
changed you? I hate this question. It’s usually asked in passing as if you can
answer...well, I used to love rice till I ate a bazillion bowels of it and now,
sometimes, can’t stand the sight of it...and then be done answering the
question. Riiiiight....and when people ask questions in passing, I always get
slightly irritated cause I’d rather them not ask at all. I know, it’s kinda
like the knee-jerk reaction people have after they hear you got in a wreck or
something...you have to ask something right or you’d be rude. So then I always
stand their taking a mental inventory on whether or not they are actually
asking cause they want to know or are they just being Southernly polite (which
btw annoys the heck out of me-read I hate the fake politeness just cause it’s
manners, but you could really care less attitude....I crave authenticity and
that just goes against it. completely....soap box over). Anyway...I’m sure
there was a point in there probably somewhere around somehow I’ve changed.
Outwardly, inwardly, emotionally, spiritually, intellectually, and well, as
someone said today....”you just can’t un-see that” One of the most (noticeable
to me) things is that I find it harder to connect to people than I ever did
before. Not my friends I’ve had before.....although, the more acquaintance
level ones are the first to fall away. It’s kinda funny too cause missions is
all about building relationships, but still, I find it harder than I ever did
before. I think it’s cause, to get to know someone (new) involves a fair amount
of simple chit chatting about nothing. And while I can do that with the best of
them....it’s the topics that I can’t always muster up enough excitement or words
to fill the space. Mainly in the arena of the latest trends, technology, the
over importance of having or doing or being most anything which I usually find
quite silly, or fashion, or celebrities, or even TV (not that I don’t watch, I
just don’t actually CARE what happens...cause you know-or maybe you’ve
forgotten-they aren’t REAL people). I don’t have a problem with you getting all
excited about it....I’m just NOT. And so, I find myself, saying no to certain
invites, or seeking out quiet corners, or just simply sitting there dreaming
about something else while the conversation goes on around me. I think it’s
cause my head and heart is filled with matters which, I’m pretty sure my God
would agree with me, are just slightly more pressing, more important, more
eternal. And I have this deep desire to do something about it and with urgency,
but well....did you read the beginning of this post? sigh. </div>
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Anyway, for the
first time in a long time, I found myself challenged at work. I attended a
delivery of a baby boy with a birth defect that is incompatible with life which
simply means, he’s safe and sound while he’s inside his momma, was born alive,
but the problem cannot be corrected, and he would die, soonish, because he can’t
survive on his own. I hate those...I feel helpless. The parents knew
beforehand, but you still can’t prepare for that and there’s not much we
(medically) can do so you’re just there...helpless to say or do anything that
can fix it. cause it can’t be fixed. Then I went back to helping a nurse all
night (cause this little dude required just that much attention) with a brand
new patient that would become my patient the following night. A sweet TINY
(read 1 lb except that was mostly the weight of the fluid his body couldn’t
get rid of) little boy that was also fighting for his life. And everything we
did made no difference. There was no winning in those shifts. Not us, not him,
not his parents. He was in pain and struggling. We could do nothing, and his
parents weren’t ready to accept the final outcome. And no amount of
anything helped anyone those nights. Which is when I stand there, outside those
dang plastic boxes, surrounded by tons of machinery and knowledge, and supplies
and medicine, and know the only thing that makes a bit of difference is the
prayer I’m offering up while I’m letting this tiny human wrap his entire hand
around half of my pinky (cause it’s too small to completely encircle it). My
head and heart turn to the eternalness of it all and honestly, I just try not to
cry (at least in those moments). Flash forward to this morning at church...the
worship leaders had lived in Africa for 6 months and returned about a
year before I left and were reflecting on processing everything when they
returned and figuring out how to somehow conjoin those lives. They shared a
verse God gave them during that time (<span style="line-height: 14px; text-align: left;">"Stand
at the crossroads and look; ask for the ancient paths, ask where the good way
is, and walk in it, and you will find rest for your souls." from Jeremiah 6:16)
that melded so well with the scriptures we were corporately chewing over in Luke
about counting the cost to be His disciple; about being salt. But also meld
with exactly where I am...sitting at the crossroads with NO firm direction on
which path to take.</span></div>
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While working the other night, those two heart breaking nights, I had the
privilege of meeting an amazing young lady who I’ve heard a lot about in the
last almost 2 years, since I work with her aunt. I’ve been told we’re a lot
alike. And after reading THIS <a href="http://www.thedamascusroad.blogspot.com/">www.thedamascusroad.blogspot.com</a>
(her blog) I recognized myself in her and it had me absolutely homesick. Not
for Africa...ok, well, a little...but I know that’s not the WHERE that I’m meant
to be right now....no, it had me heartsick for the eternal. The home that’s set
in my heart, the one I long to see a bit of on this earth through the hands and
feet of Christians following their hearts and serving Him in the place He’s put
them; men and women that have counted the cost and are following Him anyway.
The eternal, which is the only way to make sense of the injustice and hurt in
this temporary place some of us have settled for as our permanent heart
home.</div>
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In just 3 weeks, I’ll have been back here in the States for 2 years. I
pray I never grow complacent, for a heart that remains pliable and continues to
break at the sights that I see daily on my way into and out of my neighborhood,
or that I never become okay with being safe and comfortable with the familiar,
the routine, or stuck in this box where everything makes sense and is ordered
and easy. I pray my soul will not grow weary of doing good, of striving in
often fruitless times. That all this will continue to drive my passions and
stir my heart and move me to....well, move. Cause, I know it’s not what we were
created for. We were created to live outside ourselves, in a way that cannot
actually work apart from Him, but always to be stretched, and growing, and
pressing in to Him. To serve. I think I’m afraid I’m going to somehow forget as
the memories grow a bit fuzzier. That somehow this will all seem completely
normal again....worse? That there’s nothing to be done to make a difference.
So.....that’s where I’ve been these past months. Sitting. Waiting. Praying.
And trying to process in the quiet and the still. Which, I’m quite certain, is
just what I need....Oh how my Heavenly Father knows me. Praise God for
that!</div>
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This song pretty much sums it up..... <a href="http://youtu.be/shMpobVFTiU" title="http://youtu.be/shMpobVFTiU">http://youtu.be/shMpobVFTiU</a></div>erinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10389647000861315289noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4480835095288800432.post-91970010772500957562011-12-07T20:47:00.000+02:002011-12-07T20:47:29.895+02:002 months and 1 house laterI can't believe it's been 2 months. Just a bit ago, one of my closest friends told me something like..."I can't believe it...you are one of the LAST people I expected to be settling down and buying a house." And that's exactly how I feel about it too....we're on the same page. Slight disbelief, mixed with complete peace, sprinkled with a bit of crazy. And yet...it's so right. I can't really question it. From the moment I said yes to this whole crazy scheme God concocted, it has been so easy and peaceful and blessed. His hand has been ALL over it. And even in the milisecond I attempt to question it....I do something like drive home and see the city from the side I'm living on now and something in me SCREAMS: HOME!!! (ps-if you've never seen the city from the East side of the Broad River at NIGHT...well....if you had, you'd agree).<br />
<br />
I'm sitting here on my couch in my new old house, drinking coffee, surrounded by half empty boxes and paint cans and groupings of things I need to sort through. I just received an email from a sweet friend living in the Netherlands. We spent a year working together in Mozambique. I just finished replying-catching up on life and sharing where God is leading us. Yesterday I skype-chatted with a close friend living in England whom I also spent 18 months working with in Mozambique. 2 days ago I received a package from Malaysia. A sweet supporter and prayer partner whom I've never met physically but have shared many emails and prayers with had sent me such an encouraging note and gift for my birthday. 3 days ago I spoke to a dear friend I met right here in Nashville...she's in Kenya now, serving as a missionary. She left just a few months after I returned home. We spent over 2 hrs together just sharing how God is working in our lives and all the girly fun friend stuff too that never seems to matter, but it so does when you're living transculturally and so far from friends and family (it seems everyone just wants to know about the big stuff). 4 days ago I was sitting in church (yes on a SATURDAY-I like the Sat evening service). I was sitting there waiting for my friend to meet me and I opened up the bulletin and realized it was the first weekend in December which means the start of us as a church family talking about missions...Global missions. We share and learn and listen and discuss how we can have less under our tree so we can give more to the world....where it's truly needed. And this particular weekend, we had all our global partners from around the world back here to speak to us. As I sat there and saw many of them dressed in traditional clothing and heard their familiar accents; the hesitations in speaking a language that is not their first, or even their second to share how God is working in their lives, through our church, and in the lives of the people God has called them to serve......I sat there.....having a bittersweet moment. The kind where you have a peace about where you are and KNOW and BELIEVE it is right but have a bit of longing and aching in your heart for the other part too. I had closed on my house 3 days prior, had spent my first night in my new old house the night before and just 2 hrs earlier I had been opening boxes. Bittersweet. It made it all feel so permanent. Well....at least for this season permanent. <br />
<br />
It's just been one of those weeks....where I've looked around and say....HOW did I get here??? Who am I to have friends ALL over the world? To have experienced all that I have in these 30ish (yeah yeah almost 31) years? Did I really just buy a HOUSE? And am I really deserving of all that God has just blessed me with? <br />
<br />
But I know the ending to this...."to whom much is given, much is required" (Luke 12:48)....and I'm living out the required part. Well I'm trying my best to live out the required part. It's a daily kinda thing. For today (and today only)....I’m committed to doing THIS. just THIS. and tomorrow I’ll do tomorrow’s portion as He places it in front of me. and in that way....it's a bit easier to manage. "And HE determined the times set for them and the EXACT places where they should LIVE.....In Him we LIVE and MOVE and have our being" (Acts 17:26-28). I'm trying to live and move and just BE, just rest in Him...especially in this season of change and new beginnings. And I know I am blessed and so excited to give it all back......<br />
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(So yeah....I have a house....and I love it....and it's perfect and overwhelmingly more than I asked for...there's a story in that, but maybe for another cold day and another cup of coffee....today, right now, it's time to paint...I'll post pics soon!)erinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10389647000861315289noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4480835095288800432.post-35461559196304822352011-10-05T22:24:00.000+02:002011-10-05T22:24:22.059+02:00The next chapter...<div class="MsoNormal"><span>So I know most of you have been wondering what I’ll be doing next, when I’ll be returning to the field, and where I’ll be going. I have to say that you’ve been in good company because I’ve felt the exact same way. And at the end of May I think God started getting through to me and I began actually HEARING what He had been trying to tell me since at least February. I know what you’re thinking….it’s been 4 months. I’m going to open this by apologizing for not sending this any sooner than now, but as you read on and discover where I think God is leading me, you’ll start to understand why I’ve waited, and sat, and listened, and sought counsel, and prayed through this hard before letting ya’ll in on it. I wanted to make sure this is where God’s leading me….and sorry for the length of this post...it's the only way to get you up to speed!<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><span lang="EN-US">It never ever ceases to amaze me that no matter how much I am seeking His will and I think that I am listening, I often find that my will is crowding out His still small voice....but eventually God gets through and I always lay down my will to submit to whatever it is that He has planned for me, which is when He begins to truly reveal His plans to me. Back in February I felt God once again speaking to me about laying down my own dreams and plans and things of the flesh and being willing to say yes to Him in whatever capacity that looked like, even if it might be different than what I had begun to treasure up and envision in my heart for the past 12+ months, ever since I came home with the intention to just be here for 6 months and then return to the field. Well, as we all know, those 6 months have come and gone, and the beginning of June made a year. And since then, I've been praying and seeking that God would show me exactly WHAT it was that I was clinging to instead of clinging to Him. I had a discussion with a Godly missionary friend of mine serving in Kenya right now and I felt God undoing something in me I couldn't really put words to at that time. I know God called me the first time to serve Him as a single missionary for those 2 years, but since returning home I cannot say that I feel Him telling me to return to the field and serve Him full-time long-term as a single female in this current season. And I’ve noticed that the passion I had originally and daily struggled with of so wanting and waiting to return to the field has been removed over the past months. I still yearn to serve Him in missions (and He keeps opening up those doors), but I felt like I was just waiting on Him to give me the next big passion to replace that which He had removed. </span><span><o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><span lang="EN-US">God really started speaking again to me about His plans versus mine...and it came at a perfect time (as is all God's timing is) that I would leave for 14 days to be in Alabama with the only distractions being the physical training and grad school work during a missions training course through SIFAT which I attended back in May...but the rest of the time I spent seeking Him in the quiet moments and praying through WHAT my next step was to be. In those days I had a lot of discussions, a lot of prayer time, and a lot of revelations, but I felt like it was all too overwhelming to make sense of while I was there. So when I came home, I took a full day and spent it with God dealing with all of it, getting really honest (once again) with myself and God. I prayed through what He started in me in February, to a specific prayer I prayed in early May turning over all my desires, goals, agendas, and dreams to Him about what the next mission chapter of my life will look like-to be in alignment with Him no matter WHAT that looked like, to the discussions I had while I was at SIFAT in AL. What came out of that time is that I'm still quite uncertain about the tiny details of where the Lord's leading me and what the next chapter is going to look like, but I'm completely at peace with the fact that it will NOT be living full time in Mozambique or another developing country in this present season. In fact, it was just what I had been clinging to instead of what God had been calling me to…..and as I let go of that God started reminding me of what He had placed in my heart before I left Mozambique and started my trek back home……</span><span><o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><span lang="EN-US">Some of you may remember that vision and passion…..it was beginning to meld a few passions I’ve always had into one big one-loving on children, mentoring and walking alongside women and teens, and helping people get healthy (in all ways beyond just the physical). I felt Him combining it with the new passion He was placing in me which was to move into a community, walk alongside it, live within it and be part of an amazing transformation from the inside out-starting with one person, moving to one household, and extending to one community. I had this sense that it would be a bit beyond my comfort zone and not the safest idea for a single 30 year old female, but I’ve trusted God time after time in some of the most outrageous of His plans, and always seen Him prove faithful, so I have no doubts in this one too. That’s when it happened. I took that tiny seedling and I wrapped my tiny 2 year old fingers tightly around it, shoved it deep into my pocket and started conjuring up my own dreams of how that was going to look. I had twisted the simplicity of the plan He had put in my heart and began thinking He was calling me to get more education (which He was) and then return to Mozambique, move into a more rural community and then share Christ and help transform lives from a malnutrition clinic of some sort.</span><span><o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><span lang="EN-US">As I began listening to Him closely and loosening my grips on the plans I had begun making, He started revealing His true vision for the next chapter of my life. I started acknowledging that since February I’ve felt God telling me that my time for this next chapter is back here in Nashville and after all this time of being home, it’s only been in the last few months I’ve finally felt released to get back involved in my community, replanting roots that I was honestly a bit scared to start putting back down. I’ve felt Him speaking to me on how to meld all of this together.....I have been blessed with an amazing part-time job at Baptist hospital as a nurse that gives me the time, flexibility, and finances (while living extremely missionally) to share the rest of my life as a missionary here in America-tent making along the way. I’m praying with and talking to a missions group based out of the States which would allow me to help them prepare, plan, lead, and mentor small teams to developing nations working alongside indigenous missionaries and focusing on community health and transformation projects...starting sometime in Jan (hopefully depending on my finances with finishing off paying for school)...but I also feel very led to how my life should look when I am here on the ground in the States. God has been speaking to me very specifically about moving to East Nashville and living and walking life alongside a community....which is where that vision He had planted, which I twisted, and then He not quite so gently untwisted, and firmly revealed to me, comes very apparently crashing back in again. </span><span><o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><span lang="EN-US">To some of you the mention of East Nashville means nothing….to others your first thought is of the super trendy part with the cute shops, local restaurants, ect is. But that’s not quite the part I’m talking about (though that’s less than 2 miles away). I’ve been looking in a small area of East Nashville on the other side of the Cumberland River from downtown called Cleveland park which has the highest African and Sub-Saharan Africa descendants (about 10%) living in it than any other Nashville neighborhood, predominately African-American populated, with the highest single-mother headed households in Nashville, and a higher rate of childhood poverty (those falling below the US federal poverty line). This brings along with it other problems such as higher rates of high school drop outs, higher crime rates, drug use, prostitution, ect. I’m sure for those of you who hadn’t already thought I was crazy, are now beginning to speculate on how crazy I just might be…..well for those of you who are still with me and haven’t quite wanted to pick up the phone and tell me I might be crazy before reading to the end of this….there’s still time. Cause that’s not quite where it ends….God’s been speaking volumes and opening doors wide open for me to not just live and walk alongside this community but to purchase a home there and physically live there. So that’s where I am… I finished up with school the first week of August and began praying seriously about whether or not I had heard God correctly on the whole home-ownership in the middle of a transitional neighborhood thing correctly or not with my part-time job situation (which if you had tried to sell me on all this 8 months ago I would have laughed in your face and told you that YOU were the crazy one) all while picking up as many shifts at work as they’d possibly let me. I’ve been trying to figuring out how to connect and weave together living here, planting roots, with looking internationally. And during this time a few song lyrics were stuck in my head that God used to continue speaking to me….</span><span><o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><span lang="EN-US">Lead me to the Cross-HillSong</span><span><o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span lang="EN-US">“Everything I once held dear/I count it all as lost/Lead me to the cross/Where your love poured out/Bring me to my knees/Lord I lay me down/Rid me of myself/I belong to you/Lead me, lead me to the cross”</span><span><o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><span lang="EN-US">Slumber-Need to Breathe</span><span><o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span lang="EN-US">“All these victims stand in line for/The crumbs that fall from the table./Just enough to get by/All the while your invitation…/Wake on up from your slumber/Baby, open up your eyes”</span><span><o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><span lang="EN-US">Blessings-Laura Story</span><span><o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span lang="EN-US">"We pray for healing/For Prosperity/We pray for your mighty hand/To ease our suffering/All the while you hear each spoken need/Yet love is way too much to give us lesser things/…../What if my greatest disappointments or the achings of this life is the revealing of a greater thirst this world can't satisfy? And what if trials of this life, the rain, the storms, the hardest nights, are your mercies in disguise?"</span><span><o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><span lang="EN-US">The truth is, I know I’m not called to a life of complacency or much of a life that looks anything like what most would call, the American Dream….and I’m more than ok with that. Cause I’ve been blessed beyond belief and have more than enough….and what I feel most led to do is share that with those people around us whose blessings are going to come when the Church stands up and pours out the blessings God has entrusted them to use for His glory….there’s a quote that goes something like….”Sometimes I would like to ask God why He allows poverty, suffering and injustice when He could do something about it." "Well, why don't you ask Him?" "Because I am afraid He would ask me the same question." My response is…I’m not afraid He would…I KNOW He would….and I know this, cause He does…..daily. I feel ever indebted to those of you who continue walking this journey with me, praying with me, holding my hand, encouraging me, giving me such wise counsel, and helping me continually seek Him in all of this. Ya’ll are amazing and I couldn’t continue to serve Him here at home or abroad without the sum of all of you. I’m excited, a bit anxious, and hopeful about this next season, but I know one thing for sure….God has already gone before me, is completely in each of these details, and all things will hold together for His glory (Colossians 1:17)….and in that…I’m completely at peace.</span><span><o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><span lang="EN-US">T</span><span>hank you. Thank you. Thank you for joining me on this journey….I’m aiming to keep you more updated now that I know where I’m headed and what I’m doing and things are speeding along now (oh and now that I finally have a LOT more time on my hands with school being done).<o:p></o:p></span></div>erinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10389647000861315289noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4480835095288800432.post-52222207597272422122011-07-13T07:16:00.000+02:002011-07-13T07:16:24.627+02:00I want to let go<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Tahoma, sans-serif; line-height: 18px;">My name is Erin and I'm a control freak. </span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Tahoma, sans-serif; line-height: 18px;">Ever since I was little. I blogged before </span><a href="http://emptyhandedbutalive.blogspot.com/2009/08/lord-is-good.html">http://emptyhandedbutalive.blogspot.com/2009/08/lord-is-good.html</a><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Tahoma, sans-serif; line-height: 18px;"> that sometime back in college, God really did amazing things in my life, molding, and perfecting the personality He created and gave me into a more Christ-like one that was a lot less me-world-centered. And this was one of the big areas He helped me um tweak. But when I get stressed, or tired, there's tons of changes all at once in my life or something is too big, it comes out again, albeit in super minor forms compare to my high school and college days. My need to control things sneaks into the quiet moments. And while I rarely have an incessant need to make sure all the cups' handles are at exactly the same angle any more, there's one area of my life, that I can't seem to completely unwrap my fingers from. And this amazingly bad habit is ashamedly with God. </span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Tahoma, sans-serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 18px;">It's kinda funny cause I'm not even really a worrier. Cause, duh, it's out of my control. There's really no use, right? And I really try hard to press in and turn to God for every decision I make in all parts of my life to seek guidance and His plan. I earnestly want to be at the absolute center of His will for my life at all times no matter the cost. I lift my hands up in worship and get down on my knees pleading for a glimmer of how to move next and He does what He always does....He gives me the next step or the rough draft. ok, He doesn't deal in rough drafts, but He knows that if He gives me the full thing, I'd prob. run screaming in the opposite direction....so He tends to give me little tiny steps or rough ideas without all the mind numbing super scary (to me) details. It's a great psychology tactic. And God is seriously the master of it in my life. Get me to say yes to one thing...anything so I'll stop being so stubborn, quit stomping my feet, and you can get me to say yes to anything after that. You just have to get me to stop saying no first. So I get His plan and the peace and hope that He always gives me with it....what comes with knowing He's taking care of the rest and that I'm just along for the ride. He's always faithful in giving me this indescribable peace when He tells me where He's working in my life and what I need to do. To date, His plans have never failed, never been too much for Him, never not worked out absolutely beautifully. And yet, that's when the ugliness creeps back in. The flesh centered, 2 year old grubby fingered, control-freak in me rears its ugly head. And before I know it, I've taken the beauty God's given me and smashed it up into my fist and wrapped my fingers so tight around it my knuckles are white. And THEN I try to do it on my own. Major fail. Now, I mean, I'm an analytical, detail-oriented, expert planner who can take something and make it happen. But it is NEVER going to be as good as God is going to do it. And I know for sure I kick some of the middle men out in the process who God wants to use for His purposes either in my life or theirs during that journey. Cause, hello, it's easier to do it myself. Less people to mess it up, right? See where this is going....down a dark, ugly path. </span></span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Tahoma, sans-serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 18px;">It's not really about the end result....it's the journey in the middle. The process, the work part, the trust and faith in Him to follow Him part which is where all the good stuff happens. It's where He changes us and others and brings glory to Him in the process. It's those tiny surprises He throws at us because He knows our hearts better than we even do. He cares for us so immensely that He so delights in providing for us in ways that man never can. And it always amazes me that I would want to spoil that time and time again. Then i wonder why I'm struggling, or feeling overwhelmed, or like I'm drowning. Usually, after I stop to catch my breath, I notice, it's cause God entrusted some amazing plan to me, something He wants me to join Him in, and I put it in my fist shoved it deep into my dress pockets so the dream wouldn't fall out while I went merrily along my life. And in the process, I stifled what God really wants to do. I stopped asking Him how and when and what. Oh how I LOVE that He has such amazing grace for me, such mercy. He sits so patiently, waiting for me to come sit back at His feet, to open up my hands, offer it back up, and together we watch as HE unfolds the story. I'm trying so hard to not do it again.....</span></span><br />
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<div style="text-align: center;"></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Tahoma, sans-serif; line-height: 18px;"><i>I want to let go, I'm weary and bound</i></span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Tahoma, sans-serif; line-height: 18px;">I'm giving it up and laying it down, </span></i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Tahoma, sans-serif; line-height: 18px;">Take it away, out of my hands </span></i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Tahoma, sans-serif; line-height: 18px;">O</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Tahoma, sans-serif; line-height: 18px;">ut of my reach and safe in your plans </span></i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Tahoma, sans-serif; line-height: 18px;"><br />
</span></i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Tahoma, sans-serif; line-height: 18px;">'</span></i><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Tahoma, sans-serif; line-height: 18px;">Cause I need to know, that you can hear me</span></i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Tahoma, sans-serif; line-height: 18px;">Fill</span></i><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Tahoma, sans-serif; line-height: 18px;"> me with your peace, yeah, and cover me gently, </span></i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Tahoma, sans-serif; line-height: 18px;">Like only you can...</span></i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Tahoma, sans-serif; line-height: 18px;"><br />
</span></i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Tahoma, sans-serif; line-height: 18px;">So take me, and hold me, break me and mold me, oh</span></i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Tahoma, sans-serif; line-height: 18px;">Take me, and hold me, break me and mold me</span></i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Tahoma, sans-serif; line-height: 18px;">I want to let go</span></i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Tahoma, sans-serif; line-height: 18px;"><br />
</span></i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Tahoma, sans-serif; line-height: 18px;">Cradle my hands, knuckles so white</span></i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Tahoma, sans-serif; line-height: 18px;">Open them up, and say it's alright, oh</span></i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Tahoma, sans-serif; line-height: 18px;"> S</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Tahoma, sans-serif; line-height: 18px;">how me a plan, call it your own</span></i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Tahoma, sans-serif; line-height: 18px;"> M</span></i><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Tahoma, sans-serif; line-height: 18px;">ake it a journey, leading me home</span></i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Tahoma, sans-serif; line-height: 18px;"><br />
</span></i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Tahoma, sans-serif; line-height: 18px;">'Cause I need to know, that you can hear me, </span></i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Tahoma, sans-serif; line-height: 18px;">Fill me with your peace, yeah, and cover me gently,</span></i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Tahoma, sans-serif; line-height: 18px;">Like only you can...</span></i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Tahoma, sans-serif; line-height: 18px;"><br />
</span></i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Tahoma, sans-serif; line-height: 18px;">So take me, and hold me, break me and mold me, oh</span></i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Tahoma, sans-serif; line-height: 18px;">Take me, and hold me, break me and mold me</span></i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Tahoma, sans-serif; line-height: 18px;">I want to let go</span></i></div><div style="text-align: center;"></div><div style="text-align: center;"></div><div style="text-align: center;"></div><div style="text-align: center;"></div><div style="text-align: center;"></div><div style="text-align: center;"></div><div style="text-align: center;"></div><div style="text-align: center;"></div><div style="text-align: center;"></div><div style="text-align: center;"></div><div style="text-align: center;"></div><div style="text-align: center;"></div><div style="text-align: center;"></div><div style="text-align: center;"></div><div style="text-align: center;"></div><div style="text-align: center;"></div><div style="text-align: center;"></div><div style="text-align: center;"></div><div style="text-align: center;"></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Tahoma, sans-serif; line-height: 18px;">-Lindsay McCaul</span></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Tahoma, sans-serif; line-height: 18px;"><br />
</span></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Tahoma, sans-serif; line-height: 18px;">While I didn't write this....it's exactly, every word of it, how I feel. And what I know God is whispering in my ear...</span></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Tahoma, sans-serif; line-height: 18px;"><br />
</span></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Tahoma, sans-serif; line-height: 18px;">Dear friends, please join me in praying I don't get all 2 year old grubby fisted on this one.....I'm trying desperately to daily lay it back down at His feet and seek His will in each of these next steps, to follow Him in what I believe He's calling me to do this next season....and allowing Him to do all the detailing and planning and dreaming for me.</span></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Tahoma, sans-serif; line-height: 18px;"><br />
</span></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; text-align: center;"></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Tahoma, sans-serif; line-height: 18px;"><i>I want to let go, I'm weary and bound</i></span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Tahoma, sans-serif; line-height: 18px;">I'm giving it up and laying it down, </span></i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Tahoma, sans-serif; line-height: 18px;"><b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">Take it away, out of my hands </span></b></span></i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i><b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Tahoma, sans-serif; line-height: 18px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">OUT of MY reach and SAFE in YOUR plans </span></span></b></i></div>erinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10389647000861315289noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4480835095288800432.post-70676268414205994212011-07-03T23:35:00.002+02:002011-07-03T23:39:29.842+02:00Whatever you're doing inside of me<div class="MsoNormal"><span class="apple-style-span"><span lang="EN-US" style="color: #6fa8dc; font-size: 10pt; line-height: 115%;">I have 4 more weeks of grad school and I cannot tell you how excited that makes me feel. For lots of reasons....less stress; no more studying; freedom to read for fun and attack the mounds of books I’ve been waiting to read, but can’t muster up the motivation on top of the hours I spend for schoolwork; more free time to delve into God and join Him in what He’s doing around me; free time to spend with people around me whom I love and feel like I have such little time to offer them; and time to get prepared for this next season. Speaking of the next season, I feel like once again I’m in a season of transition as grad school is finishing up and I’m looking forward to what God has for me next. And in this, I know it’s going to bring something new in me and for me through Him. The song below has been playing in my head on repeat and I swear it’s on the radio every time I get in the car, but I feel like every single word of it has been my life over the last 6 months or so and will continue to be in this transition period. I love that every day is new with Him and that He is constantly changing me, drawing me closer to Him. It’s a continual process and won’t stop until the moment I take my last breath. God is always doing something in my life, perfecting me into the likeness of His image. These days, it’s just in a super concentrated amount as He’s helping me shed the old and put on the new and it’s exciting (and chaotic) to wait on Him and watch Him work.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #6fa8dc;"><br />
</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #6fa8dc;"><span class="apple-style-span"><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span lang="EN-US" style="font-size: 10pt; line-height: 115%;">It's time for healing time to move on</span></i></span><span class="apple-converted-space"><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span lang="EN-US" style="font-size: 10pt; line-height: 115%;"> </span></i></span></span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span lang="EN-US"><span class="apple-style-span" style="color: #6fa8dc; font-size: 10pt; line-height: 115%;">It's time to fix what's been broken too long</span></span></i></div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #6fa8dc;"><br />
</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #6fa8dc;"><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span lang="EN-US"><span class="apple-style-span" style="font-size: 10pt; line-height: 115%;">Time make right what has been wrong</span></span></i><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span lang="EN-US"><span class="apple-converted-space" style="font-size: 10pt; line-height: 115%;"> </span></span></i></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;"><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span lang="EN-US"><span class="apple-style-span" style="color: #6fa8dc; font-size: 10pt; line-height: 115%;">It's time to find my way to where I belong</span></span></i></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #6fa8dc;"><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span lang="EN-US"><span class="apple-style-span" style="font-size: 10pt; line-height: 115%;">There's a wave that's crashing over me</span></span></i><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span lang="EN-US"><span class="apple-converted-space" style="font-size: 10pt; line-height: 115%;"> </span></span></i></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;"><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span lang="EN-US"><span class="apple-style-span" style="color: #6fa8dc; font-size: 10pt; line-height: 115%;">All I can do is surrender</span></span></i></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;"><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span lang="EN-US"><span class="apple-style-span" style="color: #6fa8dc; font-size: 10pt; line-height: 115%;"><br />
</span></span></i></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #6fa8dc;"><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span lang="EN-US"><span class="apple-style-span" style="font-size: 10pt; line-height: 115%;">Whatever you're doing inside of me</span></span></i><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span lang="EN-US"><span class="apple-converted-space" style="font-size: 10pt; line-height: 115%;"> </span></span></i></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;"><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span lang="EN-US"><span class="apple-style-span" style="color: #6fa8dc; font-size: 10pt; line-height: 115%;">It feels like chaos somehow there's peace</span></span></i></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;"><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span lang="EN-US"><span class="apple-style-span" style="color: #6fa8dc; font-size: 10pt; line-height: 115%;">It's hard to surrender to what I can't see </span></span></i></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #6fa8dc;"><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span lang="EN-US"><span class="apple-style-span" style="font-size: 10pt; line-height: 115%;">But </span></span></i><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span lang="EN-US"><span class="apple-style-span" style="font-size: 10pt; line-height: 115%;">I'm giving in to something heavenly</span></span></i></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;"><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span lang="EN-US"><span class="apple-style-span" style="color: #6fa8dc; font-size: 10pt; line-height: 115%;"><br />
</span></span></i></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;"><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span lang="EN-US"><span class="apple-style-span" style="color: #6fa8dc; font-size: 10pt; line-height: 115%;">Time for a milestone</span></span></i></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;"><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span lang="EN-US"><span class="apple-style-span" style="color: #6fa8dc; font-size: 10pt; line-height: 115%;">Time to begin again</span></span></i></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #6fa8dc;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 14px;"><i>Reevaluate</i></span></span><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span lang="EN-US"><span class="apple-style-span" style="font-size: 10pt; line-height: 115%;"> who I really am</span></span></i></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;"><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span lang="EN-US"><span class="apple-style-span" style="color: #6fa8dc; font-size: 10pt; line-height: 115%;">Am I doing everything to follow your will</span></span></i></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;"><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span lang="EN-US"><span class="apple-style-span" style="color: #6fa8dc; font-size: 10pt; line-height: 115%;">Or just climbing aimlessly over these hills</span></span></i></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;"><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span lang="EN-US"><span class="apple-style-span" style="color: #6fa8dc; font-size: 10pt; line-height: 115%;">So show me what it is you want from me</span></span></i></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;"><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span lang="EN-US"><span class="apple-style-span" style="color: #6fa8dc; font-size: 10pt; line-height: 115%;">I give everything I surrender</span></span></i></div><div class="MsoNormal"></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span class="apple-style-span"><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span lang="EN-US" style="color: #6fa8dc; font-size: 10pt; line-height: 115%;"><br />
</span></i></span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span class="apple-style-span"><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span lang="EN-US" style="color: #6fa8dc; font-size: 10pt; line-height: 115%;">To whatever you're doing inside of me</span></i></span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #6fa8dc;"><span class="apple-converted-space"><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span lang="EN-US" style="font-size: 10pt; line-height: 115%;"> </span></i></span><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span lang="EN-US"><span class="apple-style-span" style="font-size: 10pt; line-height: 115%;">It feels like chaos somehow there's peace</span></span></i></span></div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #6fa8dc;"><br />
</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;"><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span lang="EN-US"><span class="apple-style-span" style="color: #6fa8dc; font-size: 10pt; line-height: 115%;">Though It's hard to surrender to what I can't see</span></span></i></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;"><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span lang="EN-US"><span class="apple-style-span" style="color: #6fa8dc; font-size: 10pt; line-height: 115%;">But I'm giving in to something heavenly</span></span></i></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;"><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span lang="EN-US"><span class="apple-style-span" style="color: #6fa8dc; font-size: 10pt; line-height: 115%;"><br />
</span></span></i></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;"><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span lang="EN-US"><span class="apple-style-span" style="color: #6fa8dc; font-size: 10pt; line-height: 115%;">Time to face up</span></span></i></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;"><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span lang="EN-US"><span class="apple-style-span" style="color: #6fa8dc; font-size: 10pt; line-height: 115%;">Clean this old house</span></span></i></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;"><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span lang="EN-US"><span class="apple-style-span" style="color: #6fa8dc; font-size: 10pt; line-height: 115%;">Time to breathe in and let everything out</span></span></i></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;"><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span lang="EN-US"><span class="apple-style-span" style="color: #6fa8dc; font-size: 10pt; line-height: 115%;">That I've wanted to say for so many years</span></span></i></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;"><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span lang="EN-US"><span class="apple-style-span" style="color: #6fa8dc; font-size: 10pt; line-height: 115%;">Time to release all my held back tears</span></span></i></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;"><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span lang="EN-US"><span class="apple-style-span" style="color: #6fa8dc; font-size: 10pt; line-height: 115%;"><br />
</span></span></i></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #6fa8dc;"><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span lang="EN-US"><span class="apple-style-span" style="font-size: 10pt; line-height: 115%;">Whatever you're doing inside of me</span></span></i><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span lang="EN-US"><span class="apple-converted-space" style="font-size: 10pt; line-height: 115%;"> </span></span></i></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;"><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span lang="EN-US"><span class="apple-style-span" style="color: #6fa8dc; font-size: 10pt; line-height: 115%;">It feels like chaos but I believe</span></span></i></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #6fa8dc;"><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span lang="EN-US"><span class="apple-style-span" style="font-size: 10pt; line-height: 115%;">You're up to something bigger than me</span></span></i><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span lang="EN-US"><span class="apple-converted-space" style="font-size: 10pt; line-height: 115%;"> </span></span></i></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;"><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span lang="EN-US"><span class="apple-style-span" style="color: #6fa8dc; font-size: 10pt; line-height: 115%;">Larger than life something heavenly</span></span></i></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #6fa8dc;"><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span lang="EN-US"><span class="apple-style-span" style="font-size: 10pt; line-height: 115%;">Whatever you're doing inside of me</span></span></i><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span lang="EN-US"><span class="apple-converted-space" style="font-size: 10pt; line-height: 115%;"> </span></span></i></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #6fa8dc;"><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span lang="EN-US"><span class="apple-style-span" style="font-size: 10pt; line-height: 115%;">It feels like chaos but now I can see</span></span></i><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span lang="EN-US"><span class="apple-converted-space" style="font-size: 10pt; line-height: 115%;"> </span></span></i></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #6fa8dc;"><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span lang="EN-US"><span class="apple-style-span" style="font-size: 10pt; line-height: 115%;">This is something bigger than me</span></span></i><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span lang="EN-US"><span class="apple-converted-space" style="font-size: 10pt; line-height: 115%;"> </span></span></i></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;"><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span lang="EN-US"><span class="apple-style-span" style="color: #6fa8dc; font-size: 10pt; line-height: 115%;">Larger than life something heavenly</span></span></i></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;"><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span lang="EN-US"><span class="apple-style-span" style="color: #6fa8dc; font-size: 10pt; line-height: 115%;">Something heavenly</span></span></i></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;"><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span lang="EN-US"><span class="apple-style-span" style="color: #6fa8dc; font-size: 10pt; line-height: 115%;"><br />
</span></span></i></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;"><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span lang="EN-US"><span class="apple-style-span" style="color: #6fa8dc; font-size: 10pt; line-height: 115%;">It's time to face up</span></span></i></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #6fa8dc;"><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span lang="EN-US"><span class="apple-style-span" style="font-size: 10pt; line-height: 115%;">Clean this old house</span></span></i><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span lang="EN-US"><span class="apple-converted-space" style="font-size: 10pt; line-height: 115%;"> </span></span></i></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;"><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span lang="EN-US"><span class="apple-style-span" style="color: #6fa8dc; font-size: 10pt; line-height: 115%;">Time to breathe in and let everything out</span></span></i></div><div class="MsoNormal"></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #6fa8dc; font-size: 13px; line-height: 14px;">-Sanctus Real</span></div><span lang="EN-US" style="color: #6fa8dc;"></span><br />
<div style="text-align: center;"><span lang="EN-US" style="color: #6fa8dc;"><br />
</span></div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #6fa8dc;"><span lang="EN-US"> </span><span lang="EN-US" style="font-size: 10pt; line-height: 115%;"><o:p></o:p></span></span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal"><span lang="EN-US" style="color: #6fa8dc; font-size: 10pt; line-height: 115%;">Our pastor said this during his sermon this morning….”Faith is not what you believe about God, but the things you do because of what you believe about God.” Simply put, it’s our belief in action. Is it really faith that those things you say you believe are true if you can’t or don’t put them into action? It always takes an extraordinary amount of faith for me to surrender to the things I know He’s doing in my life, allow Him to do the work, prune away, and wait on Him for my next step. To allow myself to believe that despite the fact that it feels chaotic and doesn’t make sense, and is completely contrary to the world, that it is worth it, is completely the best for me, and is going to be so amazingly good. To allow Him to lead and for me to simply follow the path He has laid out for me. Pushing down my “self” daily and keeping my eyes fully on Him. And I know that not only this transition season but the next chapter too is going to stretch that.<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #6fa8dc;"><br />
</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span class="apple-style-span"><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span lang="EN-US" style="color: #6fa8dc; font-size: 10pt; line-height: 115%;">Whatever you're doing inside of me</span></i></span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span lang="EN-US"><span class="apple-style-span" style="color: #6fa8dc; font-size: 10pt; line-height: 115%;">It feels like chaos but I believe</span></span></i></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #6fa8dc;"><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span lang="EN-US"><span class="apple-style-span" style="font-size: 10pt; line-height: 115%;">You're up to something bigger than me</span></span></i><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span lang="EN-US"><span class="apple-converted-space" style="font-size: 10pt; line-height: 115%;"> </span></span></i></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;"><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span lang="EN-US"><span class="apple-style-span" style="color: #6fa8dc; font-size: 10pt; line-height: 115%;">Larger than life something heavenly</span></span></i></div>erinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10389647000861315289noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4480835095288800432.post-44044164621029745332011-07-03T23:17:00.000+02:002011-07-03T23:17:05.856+02:00Navarre Beach Week<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br />
</div><span> </span><a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-FzwSPqQN6ac/ThDaIgpl4GI/AAAAAAAABds/nGhoRGpxz6I/s1600/DSCN0791.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="212" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-FzwSPqQN6ac/ThDaIgpl4GI/AAAAAAAABds/nGhoRGpxz6I/s320/DSCN0791.JPG" width="320" /></a><br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">This past week I got to spend 7 days with most of my immediate and a big portion of my extended family.<span> </span>And it was such a blessing.<span> </span>After spending so much time away and missing out on times like this as well as holidays and family events, it is just simply so nice to be blessed with the time to spend with my family.<span> </span>Most of them I hadn’t seen in almost 7 months because even though I’m back in the States, my schedule with school and work have kept me pretty close to Nashville.<span> </span>But this is what I always missed the most when I was living in Mozambique.<span> </span><span> </span></div><br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-mVkRaodtxL4/ThDaMw0EaHI/AAAAAAAABdw/c-LgLYNYH0A/s1600/DSC_0016.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="213" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-mVkRaodtxL4/ThDaMw0EaHI/AAAAAAAABdw/c-LgLYNYH0A/s320/DSC_0016.JPG" width="320" /></a><a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-XcE-tBFPHFg/ThDaGGXCKQI/AAAAAAAABdo/rfGL630BRks/s1600/DSCN0785.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="213" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-XcE-tBFPHFg/ThDaGGXCKQI/AAAAAAAABdo/rfGL630BRks/s320/DSCN0785.JPG" width="320" /></a></div><br />
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-WeN0YgJvcu4/ThDaseJxMkI/AAAAAAAABeA/TUyBSSOJwxY/s1600/DSC_0025.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="214" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-WeN0YgJvcu4/ThDaseJxMkI/AAAAAAAABeA/TUyBSSOJwxY/s320/DSC_0025.JPG" width="320" /></a></div><br />
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-y4_utf1Jbvs/ThDa8uoH-5I/AAAAAAAABeI/6oEu_ZTMTv0/s1600/DSCN0827.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-y4_utf1Jbvs/ThDa8uoH-5I/AAAAAAAABeI/6oEu_ZTMTv0/s320/DSCN0827.JPG" width="240" /></a></div><br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-L18awDc8YxE/ThDa-1j7DxI/AAAAAAAABeM/g14D9Hqm1d8/s1600/DSCN0828.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="240" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-L18awDc8YxE/ThDa-1j7DxI/AAAAAAAABeM/g14D9Hqm1d8/s320/DSCN0828.JPG" width="320" /></a></div><br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-3Y0cc5tlAKM/ThDbOJciOMI/AAAAAAAABeQ/WphKUQ9DkcA/s1600/DSCN0811.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="213" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-3Y0cc5tlAKM/ThDbOJciOMI/AAAAAAAABeQ/WphKUQ9DkcA/s320/DSCN0811.JPG" width="320" /></a></div><br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-kvR7I_Jncto/ThDbTnzUXoI/AAAAAAAABeU/Jy6Q7f9MgOU/s1600/IMG_8065.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="213" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-kvR7I_Jncto/ThDbTnzUXoI/AAAAAAAABeU/Jy6Q7f9MgOU/s320/IMG_8065.JPG" width="320" /></a></div><br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-GRvi9IZdXQU/ThDbV-z5J4I/AAAAAAAABeY/XdpooVSSbyg/s1600/IMG_8077.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="213" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-GRvi9IZdXQU/ThDbV-z5J4I/AAAAAAAABeY/XdpooVSSbyg/s320/IMG_8077.JPG" width="320" /></a></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">I love these guys!<span> </span>Oh yeah, and the beach was pretty nice too!</div>erinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10389647000861315289noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4480835095288800432.post-9236710791448920682011-06-06T05:57:00.000+02:002011-06-06T05:57:48.923+02:00Shifting PassionsThis particular post is going to share 2 purposes. I want to begin sharing with ya'll where God is leading me as He makes it more clear to me. And for those of you who know me best, you know I work things out and make sense of things by processing either verbally or in some written form and so here's some of the process. <br />
<br />
Over the last 3 weeks I have started to sense God urging me to let go of some things and refocus back on Him and the new things He has for me in this next season of my life...after all, I feel like I've been waiting for forever (or just the last year) to know where He wants me and what this next season will look like and yet, I found myself being scared (again) to let Him show me what that looked like in the off chance (or the very likely chance) that it will look different than my limited earthly view of visions and dreams I'm holding on to. So I started spending some very concentrated time with the Lord reflecting on the places He has brought me out of, how He has led me, where I am now, who I am as the woman He has created me to be, and where He is taking me. Last Monday, I posted after a day of spending time doing just that and it led me to start pushing doors I believe God is opening for me (which I will share as I have more information and clearer vision). But during that time He revealed things that I want to share with you here as I continue to work through them as well.<br />
<br />
In Feb I posted about clinging to the cross and how often times I get something stuck in my head and heart (not always seemingly bad and sometimes even something God has promised or revealed to me) and then I hold tight to it with the grubby fat fingers of a two year old that believes if they let go they will lose it forever so focused on what is in the palm of their hand and the moment they are living in. Blinders fully on to the eternalness of God. And at that time I KNEW that God was trying to tell me I was clinging on to some vision He had once given me and since that time I had taken it, treasured it up in my heart, and then greedily wrapped by 2 year old fingers around it, making a fist, scared to let go, grab hold of Him, and let Him make that vision a reality. Monday, God pointed me back to that post to remind me He had been working that out in my heart and getting me to a place where when I sat in the church pew a month ago yesterday I could utter a prayer and fully let GO and let GOD. In fact, I had even forgotten about that prayer until Monday. And God brought it to mind as I wrestled with the reality that God was doing something new and I was the one who had finally given Him permission to do it a month ago when I knelt before Him and said I want your vision, your dream, your ministry to be fulfilled in me so my life can point others to Christ no matter WHAT that looks like EVEN IF it means sacrificing and letting go of the visions and dreams I have been treasuring up in my heart. My past experiences with God have told me time and time again that He is good and will come through on all these things that He has given me but only if I let Him and only in His time and only in the ways He has planned to best glorify Him and bless me in the process....which rarely looks like what my two year old mind can conjour up because honestly....I have such a small, 5 ft in front of me, earlthy, noncreative view of the work He is doing and He says there are no limits or bounds to how He can bless and what He can do....Why would I choose to stifle that? While I'll never understand that, I'll definately never understand how He can be so patient with me while I continously act like that 2 year old who should know better after all these years. He never stop pursuing me, waiting on me, calling me, using me, and blessing me. And for that I am face to the ground thankful. So as I sat in church that day, I gave it all over (again) to Christ and asked Him to guide my next steps and show me the plan He had as I was ready to serve Him and follow Him even if it looked completely contrary to what I had been envisioning.<br />
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And He did. And after I wrote that post acknowledging that I was going to begin pushing those doors and inviting you to pray with me, He led me to go back and read my post from Jan where I revisited Dino death at the one year mark. And in that post, the pain was still real and the passion He has placed in my heart that had led me to Mozambique and Iris Ministries was apparent to me. I remember still daily struggling with feeling my heart divided between that passion and the preperation phase I was in for serving Him again in that way. And a funny thing happened. As I sat there reading that post.....I felt like I was reading something someone else had written. I could remember having all of those feelings and how real they had been, but as I sat there, I didn't have the same passions or feelings and I knew God had moved me from that spot to the spot where I was sitting reading that post and I hadn't even noticed. So I spent this week knowing that God had removed the passion He had placed in my heart that led me to serve Him those 2 years because He was replacing it with a NEW passion....but I desired to know what that new passion would be and how He was asking me to use it to serve Him in this next season. So I pressed in and spent this week asking Him to show me.<br />
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Tonight as I was in prayer and worship time, I felt God showing me, making it clearer, what He's been revealing to me over the past 2 months or so. The shift in my passions. While I was in Moz my passion had been to LOVE the children and Mozambicans and missionaries He placed in my life with the love He had given me so I could see individual lives TRANSFORMED by Him. He brought to mind so many images of the children and people I served who were dead inside and out when I first met them....there was no life or light in their eyes and they were spiritually, physically, or emotionally (or all 3) ill. Through prayer, maybe a little medicine, and a lot of Godly LOVE these people and tiny lives entrusted into my hands for a period had been transformed....their mourning being replaced with dancing; their ashes replaced by a crown. And when Meghann sends me pictures of these beautiful children and kids a year after I have left I know the sacrifices I made during that period and all God poured into me and I poured out onto them was WELL worth it. I see their smiles and LIFE and love and light pouring out of their lives and I know so many individual lives have been transformed. But while I was there, I remember starting to have a change in that passion near the end....a passion to see COMMUNITIES TRANSFORMED in the same way He was transforming these tiny lives and I wanted to be a part of that. It was one of the reasons I came home in the first place. To recieve more education to be able to help participate in that. <br />
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And now, I feel Him ushering in a new passion (well a renewal of what was started as I was leaving Moz...but like I said, I've been clinging to the old)....one to see communities and countries transformed by Him. And in that, He's been reminding me of one of the things I missed the most when I was in Moz....walking life and mentoring other women....pouring into people as they found their footing in God and sought to serve Him and attempted to walk with Him while still in the chaos of this fallen world we live in. I miss sharing those struggles and those joys...the heartache and the tears as well as the celebration and thanksgiving as we would watch God work everything out for good...in fact better than we had imagined it and better than we could have asked for. And so now I'm seeking Him and watching Him meld those two things, those 2 passions together....walking alongside others and helping them seek to serve God while helping be a part of community transformation in countries that do not have hope or see the light of God because they are daily confronted with heartache and pain and death and cannot imagine a life or even one single day that could be better than the moment they are in. And I am asking ya'll to come alongside of me in prayer as I seek how God is going to use me to serve Him with these passions He is placing in my heart which are growing daily. That I will keep laying down those things I had treasured up which pale in comparison to the things of God so that He can fully use me as I cling to Him instead. I'm praying and seeking through a ministry door I believe God is opening and I cannot wait to share it with you when the time is right and God gives me more clarity on it, as for now, it is just in the beginning stages, but I'm excited to see the next mission field He is opening for me! Thanks for walking with me!erinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10389647000861315289noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4480835095288800432.post-40245720564128937902011-05-31T05:45:00.000+02:002011-05-31T05:45:32.383+02:00Getting you (and me) up to speed....First, I wanna say yesterday marked 1 full year since I left Mozambique and I have to say that some days it seems like a blink and more and more days now, it seems like a whole other lifetime. But as I look back over this year at where I've been and who I was when I first arrived back to where God's brought me and who I am now....I see God's hand all over it. His provisions, His blessings, sweet moments and people He's brought into my life, such restoration, and just deeper relationship with Him. And most days, I feel like I have no clue where He's leading me....nothing new here I guess, but I have immense peace in that. As I can't remember a time He told me to trust Him and follow Him or made promises that He didn't fulfill....and so even though I expected to only be home for 6 months, which turned into 1 yr and I know will be more (at least Jan as I've mentioned previously)....I cannot wait to see what's next. And I know it will be good. <br />
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Second, I can't believe it's been 4 months since I last updated....hmmm...time has a way of escaping me. For those of you who don't get my (less than monthly at the moment) updates, you're out of the loop a bit and I'll try to catch you up in about 30 seconds or less. Here goes.....<br />
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Winter was cold. Very cold. I hate winter. And somehow I managed to fly south for the last 4 winters and my body was NOT happy with me this year. Alas, winter has come and gone and I'm now excited summer and the heat is back! I finished my second semester at UAB (in March) and first semester at UNC (end of April) and I'm still convinced my professors have simply quit reading my papers....I'm not sure why they still keep giving me A's. Though I will not complain. I applied for a scholarship through UAB's Global Outreach center to attend a 14 day World Hunger and Malnutrition training program at SIFAT (Servants in Faith and Technology) in Lineville, AL and got it! I had one week off at the beginning of May and then all 4 of my classes (UNC and UAB combined) started right back up again. Ah school. So I just got back (Saturday) from those 2 weeks of learning insanely wonderful skills like solar cooking, drying leaves to make leaf powder, how to build (and use) fuel efficient cook stoves, urban gardening, and the list goes on. All the while working on school work after 12 hr long days. I might be crazy (though that's not really new to many of you). While there I met some incredible people, had some really amazing conversations and prayer time and spent the day today praying through a bunch of things I feel like God has just started revealing to me over the past month or so (but possibly and more likely, longer since I'm pretty stubborn and hard headed). I would LOVE to share (and you know I will) but only after I gain a bit more insight and clarity from God and see a bit more direction....but I have to admit, I'm kinda excited about what this next chapter might hold for me (I'll finish up both graduate certificate programs the first week in August-Praise the LORD!).<br />
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Join me in praying for a peace as I sit and wait on God to reveal my next step in serving Him, to let Him open doors, to fully trust in something I think might not look anything like I had planned (though that's not really new to me either), for discernment as I pray through options and start conversations with organizations I believe He's leading me to start exploring, and for the strength to simply say YES in the places I feel Him urging me to say yes in even when it makes absolutely no logical sense to me at all! I am so blessed to have each of you in my life and love that ya'll give me such grace when I go silent for whole months at a time! You know how much your prayers and emails and words mean to me! Keep them coming and I hope to be able to share more with you in the coming weeks to months as God reveals more! So that was probably an African version of 30 seconds....forgive me. How bout some (I mean lots) pics from the last 2 weeks and all I learned at SIFAT.<br />
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-DtJtkvJ7rWk/TeRZqcxUsVI/AAAAAAAABcQ/TqOeLZohG6A/s1600/DSC04113.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="240" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-DtJtkvJ7rWk/TeRZqcxUsVI/AAAAAAAABcQ/TqOeLZohG6A/s320/DSC04113.JPG" width="320" /></a></div><div style="text-align: center;">Yeah....we ate bugs. Apparently, they are nutritious. And tasty??</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-tV7QZohRihg/TeRbQjiJsbI/AAAAAAAABcU/DNvfLdvBEXg/s1600/DSC04181.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="240" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-tV7QZohRihg/TeRbQjiJsbI/AAAAAAAABcU/DNvfLdvBEXg/s320/DSC04181.JPG" width="320" /></a></div><div style="text-align: center;">We built a solar dryer to dry leaves on.....</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-N12Gts5VRnA/TeRbmh0k2OI/AAAAAAAABcY/eEBKh4WGG1w/s1600/DSC04223.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="240" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-N12Gts5VRnA/TeRbmh0k2OI/AAAAAAAABcY/eEBKh4WGG1w/s320/DSC04223.JPG" width="320" /></a></div><div style="text-align: center;"> Then we learned how to pick, clean, and dry the leaves....</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-oeEj3rgk9Ng/TeRbzaP6LxI/AAAAAAAABcc/S97zYRRyT20/s1600/DSCN0565.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-oeEj3rgk9Ng/TeRbzaP6LxI/AAAAAAAABcc/S97zYRRyT20/s320/DSCN0565.JPG" width="240" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">process them and make leaf cookies (which are suprisingly yummy)</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-U7VwWov0tOU/TeRcuAEw0hI/AAAAAAAABcg/C5TZTypGtVo/s1600/DSC04242.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="240" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-U7VwWov0tOU/TeRcuAEw0hI/AAAAAAAABcg/C5TZTypGtVo/s320/DSC04242.JPG" width="320" /></a></div><div style="text-align: center;"> and then we started on the pasta....</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-kZlQZ_rysvw/TeRc1JzcPZI/AAAAAAAABck/A70SpAy8hHs/s1600/DSCN0573.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="240" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-kZlQZ_rysvw/TeRc1JzcPZI/AAAAAAAABck/A70SpAy8hHs/s320/DSCN0573.JPG" width="320" /></a></div><br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-J2SScdy8LHs/TeRc69YKNSI/AAAAAAAABco/R_cMTF9c2ds/s1600/DSCN0576.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="240" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-J2SScdy8LHs/TeRc69YKNSI/AAAAAAAABco/R_cMTF9c2ds/s320/DSCN0576.JPG" width="320" /></a></div><div style="text-align: center;">which was amazing.</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-TjzHtVmQigI/TeReIE_9pFI/AAAAAAAABcs/y9HMxluRmt4/s1600/DSCN0619.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="240" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-TjzHtVmQigI/TeReIE_9pFI/AAAAAAAABcs/y9HMxluRmt4/s320/DSCN0619.JPG" width="320" /></a></div><div style="text-align: center;"> I helped make a garden in a swimming pool</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-QHh8m6SeAaY/TeRerILE6GI/AAAAAAAABc0/KDPOlr7_2Ao/s1600/DSCN0612.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="240" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-QHh8m6SeAaY/TeRerILE6GI/AAAAAAAABc0/KDPOlr7_2Ao/s320/DSCN0612.JPG" width="320" /></a></div><div style="text-align: center;">yup...we used cans under that blanket....</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-cYnFS83Lg0w/TeReQdFs1nI/AAAAAAAABcw/0SkUN1aCZb4/s1600/DSCN0628.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="240" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-cYnFS83Lg0w/TeReQdFs1nI/AAAAAAAABcw/0SkUN1aCZb4/s320/DSCN0628.JPG" width="320" /></a></div><div style="text-align: center;">I think there is still red clay under my nails from that....</div><div style="text-align: center;">and before I left on Sat...we had beans sprouting which is pretty amazing since I physically touched those seeds before they went into the ground...me and my black thumb. I don't give them another wk of life. Sad.</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-X654YZgxBg8/TeRfCn9ycBI/AAAAAAAABc4/P2uOT-830JA/s1600/DSC04568.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="240" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-X654YZgxBg8/TeRfCn9ycBI/AAAAAAAABc4/P2uOT-830JA/s320/DSC04568.JPG" width="320" /></a></div><div style="text-align: center;"> We also used tires.....</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-A-mqor82z2g/TeRfPSl3h4I/AAAAAAAABc8/PTemRF3SHpI/s1600/DSC04494.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="240" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-A-mqor82z2g/TeRfPSl3h4I/AAAAAAAABc8/PTemRF3SHpI/s320/DSC04494.JPG" width="320" /></a></div><div style="text-align: center;">and gutters.</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-jy7gCIwLZAA/TeRgKOWm90I/AAAAAAAABdE/GRn9fu4MylA/s1600/DSCN0662.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-jy7gCIwLZAA/TeRgKOWm90I/AAAAAAAABdE/GRn9fu4MylA/s320/DSCN0662.JPG" width="240" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">Next we made solar cookers.</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-FJ0QyvSyJgk/TeRf4DaWoDI/AAAAAAAABdA/RfxFw1UR6mc/s1600/DSC04716.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="240" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-FJ0QyvSyJgk/TeRf4DaWoDI/AAAAAAAABdA/RfxFw1UR6mc/s320/DSC04716.JPG" width="320" /></a></div><div style="text-align: center;"> I know what you're thinking...no way that cardboard and tinfoil is going to cook anything....</div><div style="text-align: center;">Same thing I thought....so the next day we tried rice and chicken.....</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-C8Uw7XQlbQM/TeRg2Xm8QgI/AAAAAAAABdI/lOaNGoSKOcM/s1600/DSCN0675.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="240" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-C8Uw7XQlbQM/TeRg2Xm8QgI/AAAAAAAABdI/lOaNGoSKOcM/s320/DSCN0675.JPG" width="320" /></a></div><div style="text-align: center;"> and after 3 hrs.....</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-1SentYVFAdw/TeRg6IfDClI/AAAAAAAABdM/wJbRVwrZ8LU/s1600/DSCN0678.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-1SentYVFAdw/TeRg6IfDClI/AAAAAAAABdM/wJbRVwrZ8LU/s320/DSCN0678.JPG" width="240" /></a></div><div style="text-align: center;">Yeah-It was delicious. ;) </div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-6Y3nL4S5qts/TeRh_u-aMVI/AAAAAAAABdU/DZ1Lyp8vmJU/s1600/DSC04882.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="240" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-6Y3nL4S5qts/TeRh_u-aMVI/AAAAAAAABdU/DZ1Lyp8vmJU/s320/DSC04882.JPG" width="320" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">We mixed up clay to make bricks</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-3rLoezqtVjY/TeRh-HGWYZI/AAAAAAAABdQ/FcGy7DjSoH8/s1600/DSC04880.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="240" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-3rLoezqtVjY/TeRh-HGWYZI/AAAAAAAABdQ/FcGy7DjSoH8/s320/DSC04880.JPG" width="320" /></a></div><div style="text-align: center;">There may have been a clay fight.....</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-emgc10HxW1k/TeRiFFErGOI/AAAAAAAABdY/zkzlLyz321U/s1600/DSCN0707.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="240" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-emgc10HxW1k/TeRiFFErGOI/AAAAAAAABdY/zkzlLyz321U/s320/DSCN0707.JPG" width="320" /></a></div><div style="text-align: center;">But in the end we built a stove...a fuel efficient stove that WORKED. </div><div style="text-align: center;">and it was virtually smokeless.</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-AJFtIRTi8xs/TeRjWdAGCCI/AAAAAAAABdg/ToouQIrGVHc/s1600/DSCN0758.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-AJFtIRTi8xs/TeRjWdAGCCI/AAAAAAAABdg/ToouQIrGVHc/s320/DSCN0758.JPG" width="240" /></a></div><div style="text-align: center;">And then our Guatamalan cook showed us how to make Tortillas by hand</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-tYP_U1PsAmE/TeRi_VqwEOI/AAAAAAAABdc/ciH2nh9OZig/s1600/DSCN0766.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="240" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-tYP_U1PsAmE/TeRi_VqwEOI/AAAAAAAABdc/ciH2nh9OZig/s320/DSCN0766.JPG" width="320" /></a></div><div style="text-align: center;"> And I made a slightly less perfect version.....we cooked it on our stoves </div><div style="text-align: center;">and it still tasted just as yummy!</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-RHoQnRsCEdk/TeRkFBaBFTI/AAAAAAAABdk/7YTNq-4ajew/s1600/DSCN0642.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="240" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-RHoQnRsCEdk/TeRkFBaBFTI/AAAAAAAABdk/7YTNq-4ajew/s320/DSCN0642.JPG" width="320" /></a></div><div style="text-align: center;">It was such a blessing to be with these men and women for 14 days, share life and talks and coffee (lots of coffee) and talk missions while learning some incredible life changing, community building skills! I can't wait to use them....just as soon as God tells me how and when!</div><div style="text-align: center;"><br />
</div>erinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10389647000861315289noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4480835095288800432.post-80406436118162140192011-02-02T06:31:00.000+02:002011-02-02T06:31:46.718+02:00ClingingI love that God beats me over the head with stuff. Ok, love's not the right word. So you know those times when God keeps speaking to you about the same thing through every different capacity possible?.....maybe not? maybe you were a bit wiser in listening the first time? I've come to the conclusion that I'm doomed by genetics to be hard headed in a bazillion areas of my life (and yes, blaming it on genetics makes me feel better about it) and well.....God doesn't give up so that's good for both of us. <br />
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Over the last 2 weeks it has been on the topic of clinging. There's this song that I've loved for a long time, but most recently I feel like God keeps reminding me of it and it keeps coming up in my worship time-corporately and privately and thus the words keep spinning over and over again in my head. The lyrics that I can't get out of my head are "Simply to the cross I cling, letting go of all earthly things, I'm clinging to the cross. Mercy's found a way for me. Hope is here as I am free. Jesus, you are all I need. I'm clinging to the cross." So I wasn't sure why or what I needed this message for and then....enter Beth Moore. <br />
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I love this woman as much as you can love someone you have never met or personally communicated with. If you have never done one of her Bible Studies....you should. This woman cracks me up, challenges me, encourages me, and simply put, brings a little Church into every session. Anyway, I'm studying Revelation with a group of girls from my church (and Beth of course) and last night she said something that I completely know and believe and dealt with before, but still somehow shook me. Now I get the joy of processing and praying through it and deciphering why God keeps beating me over the head with this. She said something along the lines of you will either hang onto (insert whatever it is emotion/physical thing/dream/fear here) or you will hang onto your first love (God) but you CANNOT hang on to BOTH. You have to let go of (insert whatever it is here) in order to cling to Him/the cross.<br />
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Ok, so now what the heck does this mean for me?? Since I don't have a clear answer on this one yet, I'm just guessing that I'm either a-not listening hard enough or b-(gasp) not wanting to hear the answer (doesn't sound a bit like me at all, huh?). Hmmmm..........so I'll be praying about this in the next days and weeks to come (aka as long as it takes for God to get through to me) and hoping a few of you will join me. I'm putting this on here, cause I'm hoping it will keep me accountable to doing just that.erinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10389647000861315289noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4480835095288800432.post-32587937387308046362011-01-17T06:03:00.000+02:002011-01-17T06:03:40.202+02:00A week of reflection<div style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 13px;"><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;">This week I was reminded of how fast time passes when you aren't looking and how far God brings us...all the details that are worked out and all the plans He has for us that I, personally, cannot even dream up. This last week marked one year since a little boy (Dino) I had the privilege of knowing, loving, and serving left this harsh world and leapt into the arms of Jesus. I'd be lying if I didn't say that this made for a hard week....a week of questions, reflection, praying, and lots of reminiscing. Dino was this amazing little toddler that so embodied Christ's love and was such a beautiful picture of redemption. And while I'll never really fully understand why God decided it was time for him to leave earth, I'll always stand firm in completely knowing and believing that God used that little boy in a mighty powerful way while he was living and walking on this earth and has continued using him over and over since his passing to bring glory to God's kingdom. So I spent the week rereading the blogs I had written during Jan and into March when his death was quickly followed by sweet Gracinha's passing and how broken I had been in those moments. Oh how much perspective we gain when we aren't in the midst of situations. The situation was confounded by the fact that during that time period we were severely short-handed in the nursing world, I was way overworked, overstressed, and emotional/physically/spiritually beyond exhaustion. I was processing a new calling that God had been speaking to me about-going back to the States, starting grad school, and returning to Moz in a very different capacity in a much more rural part of the country. And I was attempting to come to grips with the end of my time in Zimpeto and all the goodbyes that would bring-to children that I had seen be transformed from brokeness to LIFE, that held pieces of my heart; missionaries that had walked life with me and become such close friends; Mozambicans that I had poured into for 2 years, watched grow in their faith, knowledge, and character, women that had become my friends; a country and culture that I loved and had become so much a part of me with all it's good, bad, and everything in between; and a language that sometimes has me confused when I attempt to switch back to English and sometimes makes a bit more sense with it's lyrical sound. So Dino was kinda the final straw.</div><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><br />
</div></div><div style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 13px;"></div><div style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 13px;"><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;">But this week as I talked with friends on different continents that have walked this same journey with me, held hands with me, prayed with and for me, offered their shoulders, and ignored my anger, sadness, tears, and frustration while simultaneously celebrating the joy and victory at the same time I realized a few things.....how much I miss Moz daily and how ready I am to be back there (and this one fact I kinda wrestle with daily, but I think I'm getting really good at putting it on the back burner and semi ignoring it most days), but in the exact same breathe how much I want my return to be in the exact perfect timing of God, in the right situation, right location, and right job with the right ministry. and that moment is not right now. and you know what? I don't think I could say any of these things with a lot of certainty or truthfulness if God hadn't been doing so much in my life since a year ago but most importantly over the last 7 months since I've been home. I think most of you knew from emails, phone calls, newsletters, and perhaps even through blogs, how right the timing was for me to be back home.....I so much needed the time for rest, healing, and to simply be blessed by God.....which, when I struggle the most with being home and the timing of it all, is when God reminds me of how right it was and is and how much He is using this time I'm home to do something new in my life....how much I need this time of preparation (spiritually, emotionally, and intellectually) before I return back to the mission field. I'm truly overwhelmed by it and thankful for it most days. I see it in all the details He has laid out for me before I came home, and daily since I've been here. </div><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><br />
</div><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;">And in case I don't say it enough to ya'll in person......I am truly thankful for each of you that continue to stand by me through this entire journey no matter how crazy it all seems....for those of you that simply sit quietly and listen to me vent and speak my heart even though I know you don't really have the words to make it right...know that just your willingness to sit with me is more than enough and means a lot to me....for those of you that continue to pray with me and for me during this time and for the future that God has for me....and for those of you that encourage me and give me wisdom, speaking the truth into my life even when I might not want to hear it! Ya'll are all awesome and I am truly blessed that God has brought you into my life and alongside me for this journey. Thanks.</div><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><br />
</div><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; text-align: center;"><i>You are good, You are good</i></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; text-align: center;"><i>When there's nothing good in me</i></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; text-align: center;"><i>You are love, You are love</i></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; text-align: center;"><i>On display for all to see</i></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; text-align: center;"><i><br />
</i></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; text-align: center;"><i>You are light, You are light</i></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; text-align: center;"><i>When the darkness closes in</i></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; text-align: center;"><i>You are hope, You are hope</i></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; text-align: center;"><i>You have covered all my sin</i></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; text-align: center;"><i><br />
</i></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; text-align: center;"><i>You are peace, You are peace</i></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; text-align: center;"><i>When my fear is crippling</i></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; text-align: center;"><i>You are true, You are true</i></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; text-align: center;"><i>Even in my wandering</i></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; text-align: center;"><i><br />
</i></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; text-align: center;"><i>You are joy, You are joy</i></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; text-align: center;"><i>You're the reason that I sing</i></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; text-align: center;"><i>You are life, You are life</i></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; text-align: center;"><i>In You death has lost its sting</i></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; text-align: center;"><i><br />
</i></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; text-align: center;"><i>Oh, I'm running to Your arms, I'm running to Your arms</i></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; text-align: center;"><i>The riches of Your love will always be enough</i></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; text-align: center;"><i>Nothing compares to Your embrace</i></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; text-align: center;"><i>Light of the world forever reign</i></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; text-align: center;"><i><br />
</i></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; text-align: center;"><i>You are more, You are more</i></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; text-align: center;"><i>Than my words will ever say</i></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; text-align: center;"><i>You are Lord, You are Lord</i></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; text-align: center;"><i>All creation will proclaim</i></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; text-align: center;"><i><br />
</i></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; text-align: center;"><i>You are here, You are here</i></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; text-align: center;"><i>In Your presence I'm made whole</i></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; text-align: center;"><i>You are God, You are God</i></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; text-align: center;"><i>Of all else I'm letting go</i></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; text-align: center;"><i><br />
</i></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; text-align: center;"><i>Oh, I'm running to Your arms, I'm running to Your arms</i></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; text-align: center;"><i>The riches of Your love will always be enough</i></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; text-align: center;"><i>Nothing compares to Your embrace</i></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; text-align: center;"><i>Light of the world forever reign</i></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; text-align: center;"><i><br />
</i></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; text-align: center;"><i>My heart will sing no other name</i></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; text-align: center;"><i>Jesus, Jesus</i></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; text-align: center;"><i>My heart will sing no other name</i></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; text-align: center;"><i>Jesus, Jesus</i></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; text-align: center;"><i><br />
</i></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; text-align: center;"><i>Oh, I'm running to Your arms, I'm running to Your arms</i></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; text-align: center;"><i>The riches of Your love will always be enough</i></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; text-align: center;"><i>Nothing compares to Your embrace</i></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; text-align: center;"><i>Light of the world forever reign</i></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; text-align: center;"><i><br />
</i></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; text-align: center;"><i>-Lyrics by Jason Ingram & Ruben Morgan</i></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><i><br />
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</div></div>erinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10389647000861315289noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4480835095288800432.post-67542721274418503612011-01-08T11:50:00.000+02:002011-01-08T11:50:02.561+02:00Mozambique VideoI'm excited to let ya'll finally view the video I mentioned months ago since most everyone that needed to see it in person during my visits have seen in.......so here it is. It's 12.5 minutes. I'm pretty sure it is worth the wait for the few of you that have been waiting in intense anticipation since I first mentioned it. I hope it blesses you and really reminds you of how much this journey is just not me and God's.....but belongs to each of you as well. Thank you so much for each and every single you have spent praying for me, writing emails, thinking of me, sending me encouragement, wisdom, and truth, as well as finances, goody packages, and long skype conversations (especially those that had 5000 dropped calls in like 10 min and yet you still stuck with me). Thanks for the hugs and shoulders (virtual and real), for bearing through the tears and hard times and most definately for celebrating with me and God on all the victories. Myself, the children I served, and the Mozambicans and other missionaries I served with have been eternally changed-in this life and forever. I really cannot repay you or tell you thanks enough. Enjoy!<br />
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<iframe frameborder="0" height="263" src="http://player.vimeo.com/video/16835336?title=0&byline=0&portrait=0" width="350"></iframe><br />
<a href="http://vimeo.com/16835336">Mozambique: Changing Statistics 2008-2010</a> from <a href="http://vimeo.com/inhishands">Erin Welton</a> on <a href="http://vimeo.com/">Vimeo</a>.erinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10389647000861315289noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4480835095288800432.post-83826525617628465312011-01-08T11:37:00.000+02:002011-01-08T11:37:30.386+02:00Well past time for an updateI'm not even going to make excuses. If you get my monthly updates (which clearly haven't been so montly lately) nothing's new or different cept for the pictures. Let's see.....we shall start in November.<br />
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<b><u>November</u></b><br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_l0MzT-KgnU8/TSgs2OG7ABI/AAAAAAAABb0/3AwJ_6mccro/s1600/DSC_0225.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="213" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_l0MzT-KgnU8/TSgs2OG7ABI/AAAAAAAABb0/3AwJ_6mccro/s320/DSC_0225.JPG" width="320" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_l0MzT-KgnU8/TSgssXReIxI/AAAAAAAABbw/b3_DfzuGUTM/s1600/DSC_0223.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="212" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_l0MzT-KgnU8/TSgssXReIxI/AAAAAAAABbw/b3_DfzuGUTM/s320/DSC_0223.JPG" width="320" /></a></div>Grad school finished up (UAB’s program runs for 9 weeks and very intensively at that) and by the end of that time I had written 34 papers for 4 different classes. I managed to squeak out all A’s…I have no clue how. I attended a Christian Global Missions Conference in Louisville, KY for 3 days where I was able to network with other current and future missionaries, talk about the realities of missions, get information on some cool opportunities with different organizations/projects, and just worship God together as about 1000 people with a heart to serve the Lord both here at home and abroad. It was an amazing time. Then, I headed up to Cleveland, OH to speak at 3 services of one of my supporter churches-Stow Presbyterian Church, while getting the chance to spend time with my dad’s side of the family and my grandmother. I was also able to have brunch with a young girl who’s just working through her heart for missions God’s been speaking to her about, as well as visit with 2 of my dear friends I worked with in Maputo, Mozambique who are off the mission field for the time being and living in and around Cleveland/Akron, OH. Immediate and extended family came to my place over Thanksgiving in Nashville and it was really a blessing.<br />
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<b><u>December</u></b><br />
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_l0MzT-KgnU8/TSgtVQvLsqI/AAAAAAAABcA/zvkuEVv3LYA/s1600/DSC_0302.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="213" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_l0MzT-KgnU8/TSgtVQvLsqI/AAAAAAAABcA/zvkuEVv3LYA/s320/DSC_0302.JPG" width="320" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_l0MzT-KgnU8/TSgtW4s-v7I/AAAAAAAABcE/FlRN4dfGYQ8/s1600/DSC_0295.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="213" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_l0MzT-KgnU8/TSgtW4s-v7I/AAAAAAAABcE/FlRN4dfGYQ8/s320/DSC_0295.JPG" width="320" /></a></div>I celebrated my 30th birthday with some close friends in Nashville. I was blessed to spend 7 days back in New Orleans with family for an early Christmas as well as another cousin’s wedding. Auburn won the SEC championship in football (very important stuff) and it was decided they would play for the national championship (even more important stuff). I found out that University of North Carolina at Chapel Hill had accepted me into their graduate certificate program in Maternal and Child Health (online) through their public health college. My trusty car died and could not be resurrected for less than 5,500 dollars, so the decision was made to sell it and I’m not borrowing a car from my parents until I leave again. I worked through Christmas here in Nashville, but was able to get home for 5 days right after that to celebrate Christmas late with my immediate family and then ring in the New Year. During that time, I got to see and hold one of my high school gal’s first baby and visit with my dear friend and fellow nurse, Meghann for 24 hours who was home on respite from Mozambique. That’s the stuff I miss when I’m over in Mozambique.<br />
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</b></div><div style="text-align: left;"><b><u>January</u></b></div>This first week of Jan may be coming to a close but it’s already been full. I drove up to UNC for a 3.5 day intensive leadership seminar/graduate program orientation. It’s the only time I’ll have to be on campus for the 2 semester program. I met the girls I’ll be chatting and working on group projects online with over these next 2 semesters, learned a lot about myself through the personality and leadership development tools we did, and found out how the program works. I’m so excited about this opportunity. And now after what feels like an eternity of being away from Nashville, I’m back here….filling ya’ll in and getting ready to start semester #2-3 graduate classes (2 thru UNC and 1 thru UAB) on Monday. The assignments are already looming before me.<br />
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<div class="MsoNormal"><span lang="EN-US"><b><u>The future</u></b>.....So most of ya’ll are probably wondering where I’m headed and what all this means…..good question.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>My heart is still burning to be back in Mozambique and I can’t wait for the moment I get to stop off that plane and back into the sticky heat and humidity of the African continent.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I think about it and pray about it all the time.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>On the grad school front, both certificate programs-UAB and UNC (all 26 hours worth) will be finished up in a total of 3 semesters (at the end of this coming August).<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I’m hoping and yearning to be back on the field in Mozambique as early as September, but I know that a-this may not be the exact perfect timing for God and b-realistically grad school costs have gone up and those costs have to be paid off before I return and c-the holidays will be coming up, school will have literally finished, and I might need a bit of a break before I hit the ground running again-allowing me to see all of ya’ll again and continue working to pay off the rest of grad school costs.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Leaving in Jan would allow me to get on a schedule of being gone for 10 months and home for 2 at the holidays.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>At this point, I’m still praying through and searching for the ministry God is calling me to work with when I return to Mozambique.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I feel like it will be a 3-5 year commitment and that requires a lot of prayer and thought for a decision like that.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Our God is big and prayers in this area are much needed and appreciated.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>As much as I want to be back on the field, I know it has to be with the right project and in His right timing or it’s all doomed.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Please pray with me.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span lang="EN-US"><br />
</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span lang="EN-US"><b><u>Finances</u></b> are an area God is really continuing to bless me in through all of you.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>At this point I’m living off about ½ the amount of monthly support I had coming in compared to when I was on the field.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>This covers medical insurance, rent/utilities, and food.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Everything from my part-time job is covering grad school and so far it’s worked out to the penny every month.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The first semester of grad school has been paid off and I’m just hoping that I can keep up with that as it was only ¼ of what I’m going to have to pay over the entire 3 semesters.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I’ve been getting cancelled at work lately due to my unit’s low census and while that, at times, makes me a little nervous to cover everything…..it has all completely worked out-Praise to God and all of you who sent me the extra donations you didn’t know I needed and on which I wasn’t counting.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Ya’ll have truly blessed me.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span lang="EN-US"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"><br />
</span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span lang="EN-US"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"></span></span></div><div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;"><b><span lang="EN-US"><u>Super Important Changes in HOW to donate to me</u><o:p></o:p></span></b></div> A few changes have been made and I wanted to let everyone know that Fellowship Bible Church in Nashville, TN will no longer be able to accept donations for me through their website or by check.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>If you are a regular monthly supporter, you will be getting an email shortly with more details and what to do from here on out as well as how this affects us both.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>In the meantime, if anyone would like to donate, please contact me by email (<a href="mailto:weltoem@msn.com">weltoem@msn.com</a>) for the best way to do so (you have a few options).<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Thanks again for continuously sharing with me what God has blessed you with!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I am always overwhelmed by your generosity!erinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10389647000861315289noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4480835095288800432.post-87341532798076641802010-11-03T04:34:00.000+02:002010-11-03T04:34:40.826+02:002 more papers....I seriosly don't know where the time goes. I can't believe it's already November!<br />
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Classwork finished 2 weeks ago for grad school stuff and I've just been working on my 4 final papers to finish it all out. 2 down and 2 more to go and this semester will be OVER. I've written 30 papers for a total of 160 pages so far. All but the last 2 were done in a total of 9 consecutive weeks. Just 2 more super long ones to go. YIKES. I'm so done writing papers.<br />
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Since the last time I wrote:<br />
-I had the chance to participate in a good friend from high school's wedding in Charleston, SC. My mom and I made the trip down and it was just so nice to spend a whole weekend together out of our crazy lives and something I haven't really had the chance to do in almost 3 years. <br />
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-I also got the opportunity to jet back down to New Orleans for 5 days for a cousin's wedding and some good family time. <br />
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-I went to SIFAT for the green leaf concentrate seminar in collaboration with my professor at UAB and the Honor's college there as well. It was such a great opportunity and opened a bit of a door for me to possibly return to SIFAT in May for 10 days between spring and summer semester to recieve intensive training in world hunger and malnutrition as well as how to use appopriate technologies (read: simple and hands-on) to help combat this in developing nations. It's a super cool opportunity and I'm really praying about making this happen as I know I would use it on almost a daily basis!<br />
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-I applied to University of North Carolina, Chapel Hill's graduate certificate program in maternal child health (just like UAB's, but in a different concentration area) and am just waiting and praying for the answer back.<br />
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-I've been trying to (and still am) working completely full time while school's out and until the beginning of Jan when school starts back up again to pay off all these school loans. Crazy. But, I love the girls I work with, the job, the hospital, and being back on nightshift. It's GREAT!!!! I'm so blessed! God is so GOOD!!!<br />
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What's in front of me??<br />
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I can't wait for the missions conference I mentioned last time that's in just 2 weeks. I'm really praying that God will make some good connections there and perhaps open some doors or windows into what the next road looks like for me after I finish grad school. I would love for you to pray with me on this.<br />
<br />
Then it's up to Ohio to give a talk at 3 services at a church that has been supporting me for the last year and continues to do so while I'm home. I'm pumped. While I'm there I'll also get so visit family and 2 missionaries I worked with while in Mozambique!<br />
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My immediate family and dad's side of the family is headed to Nashville to have Thanksgiving at my house which is awesome. It'll be a full November.<br />
<br />
Back to New Orleans for a week for another cousin's wedding, an early Christmas (since I'm working all during Christmas) and lots of family time.<br />
<br />
Then home to Clemson for a week right after Christmas and to see one of my high school gal's new baby...I'm pumped!!!! These next few weeks are just going to fly right on by as well.....oh and I turn 30 somewhere in there........YEAH!!!!<br />
<br />
Prayer Points: <br />
-UNC graduate application<br />
-the missions conference in Louisville, KY<br />
-speaking at Stow Presbyterian Church in Ohio on Nov. 21st<br />
-opportunity to attend World Hunger 10 day intensive training in Mayerinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10389647000861315289noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4480835095288800432.post-61345329833975696122010-09-23T18:26:00.000+02:002010-09-23T18:26:59.020+02:00A little update on meLet's see....wow the weeks are flying by and I've been wanting to get out an official update, but well....did I mention the weeks are flying by? Basically I've been....<br />
<br />
sleeping, studying, studying, studying, eating, sleeping, studying, studying, working, studying, sleeping. That probably covers it. If you are a friend living in the Nashville area reading this that thought you would actually get to see me since I lived in the States again....we were BOTH wrong....catch me in 5 more weeks. <br />
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Grad school has been amazing and I learn tons every day that is very applicable (I even keep a journal with lots of ideas for when I go back), but it's seriously eating at least 50-60 hours of my week and then I either work 1 or 2 12 hr nightshifts sometime in there amongst the craziness. I'm halfway through week 5 of the 9 weeks for this semester, so I'll get a break soon (till Jan) and start working more with a bit more normal (although still a nightshifter) schedule! You can tell why I rarely leave the house except for groceries, Church and Bible Study, and yoga classes in the evening (practically the only thing that keeps me sane). Don't worry....I do manage to take off 1 period of 24 hrs each week where I do NOTHING school related and just relax, otherwise I would have given this pursuit up by now.<br />
<br />
Oh and I've done a "little" travelling on top of all that. Two weekends ago I headed to Clemson for the night, then my mom and I drove to Charleston, SC for the weekend to rest, relax, and celebrate an old highschool girl friend getting married! It was a great weekend and Charleston was gorgeous (as always). Last weekend, I got the chance to go to Auburn, AL (War Eagle!) and see many college friends as well as my sister. Plus, I was blessed with 2 FREE tickets to the Auburn vs Clemson game....so my sister and I wore opposing colors and took turns screaming and cheering for our team....may I say, the better and best team (AUBURN) won!!!! While there I spoke at the Auburn Wesley Foundation (Methodist Campus Ministry) where I spent 4 years of my life during college serving, learning, fellowshipping, and growing up. I did a suppose-to-be 10 min faithshare that was probably a lot longer (thanks David for being patient with me) for the college students on answering God's call on your life and what that looks like in reality and how to missionally live your life from whereever He has placed you. Then on Monday, I hung around AWF for about 4 hrs while students dropped in and asked tons of questions and chatted with me about life on the mission field, developing countries, and serving God. It was amazing and I met some fabulous men and women. On my way back to Nashville, I stopped by two friends house in Bham and had dinner (and sleep).<br />
<br />
Plans for soon:<br />
Oct. 10-12 in Birmingham,AL for a 2 day lecture series with UAB and SIFAT (Servants in Faith and Technology) on using green leaf concentrate to treat malnutrition in developing countries<br />
<br />
Oct. 14-19 in New Orleans for wedding and family time<br />
<br />
Nov. 11-13 in Louisville, KY for a 3 day Christian Global Medical Missions conference which I am pumped about!!!<br />
<br />
Nov. 18-22 in Akron, Ohio to speak at Stow Presbyterian Church (my uncle's and amazing supporters) outside of Akron as well as visiting 2 girls that served with me at Zimpeto in Mozambique and family time!<br />
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Dec. 17?-20? in New Orleans for wedding and early Christmas with family<br />
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Did I mention somehow managing to fit 80 hr workweeks in between all of this! Praise the Lord God gave me a remarkable talent for working well in the midst of chaos otherwise I'd be floundering right now. He has been such the sustainer and encourager over these last few weeks for me. Thanks for all the prayers....continue praying and let me know if you would like me to come speak to your church, Bible study group, or whatever.....I'll make it happen, even if my schedule looks a little rediculous. ;)erinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10389647000861315289noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4480835095288800432.post-24013360153813880822010-09-08T03:15:00.000+02:002010-09-08T03:15:15.967+02:00All is quietI just wanted to update everyone and thank you for prayers! Missionaries at Zimpeto said Monday was quite even though there were lots of rumours of more rioting. The government has decided to add a subsidy to the price of bread so that the price will remain the same as previous....i only wonder where the money is being taken from to fund this subsidy. Anyway, latest article below! Thanks again.<br />
<br />
http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/business-11216009erinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10389647000861315289noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4480835095288800432.post-82576557753260166102010-09-04T16:57:00.000+02:002010-09-04T16:57:53.549+02:00more on riotingFIRST.....I just got to video skype with 4 of the children and 3 of the missionaries in Zimpeto.....video and voice chat.....they were so close i could almost hug those little necks....believe me. i wanted to!!!! so precious! (thank you meghann for doing this....you've made these last 2 weeks of 50-60 hours of studying each week, well worth it as i remember face to face why i'm here) Praise the Lord for technology!<br />
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SECOND....riot updates. Go here to hear the latest from Meghann from Friday (sweet stories of provision). And I have a semi-first hand update since i got to SEE them on their lovely Saturday afternoon.....really quiet in Zimpeto (the area of Maputo the center is in), but still not too many cars on the road. More of the missionaries and workers have gotten out for desperate errnads that need to be run, but nothing more. While it's quiet for the moment, there are calls for more riots on Monday, so continue praying.<br />
<br />
As I lay in bed last night, I prayed that the people of Mozambique would turn to the Lord during this time of fear and stress of where their next meal is going to come for or how they will continue providing for their family. God is much bigger than tax increases and money and physical bread. He can and has (on multiple occasions) multiplied food and made mana fall from the heavens. I prayed that instead of rioting and being filled with panic and fear, they would hit their knees and seek God for His provisions and safeguard, gather as communitities and seek His wisdom; that they would submit to the human (but God given)authority over their country and remember God is bigger than all of that and is still in control. I prayed the government officials would turn to Him to seek wisdom on how to deal with the shortages around the world and export tarrifs which is the reason they have to increase prices....that solutions would be revealed. My heart hurts for this country...when you watch sick sick (can't walk 50 meters and have HIV) people tell you they will wait 2 days to go to the doctor because it's cheaper on Monday than the weekend despite your pleading....you understand the decisions and sacrifices they make on a daily basis, making less than $37 per MONTH (which, quite frankily, most of us make in an hour). A 30% increase in your staple food and impending energy and water increases SEEMS impossible.....but my God never sees impossible and NOTHING with Him is impossible....I pray they turn to Him and see the possibilities! Thanks for praying for them and with me....let's continue praying!erinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10389647000861315289noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4480835095288800432.post-51913857264694025802010-09-03T19:12:00.000+02:002010-09-03T19:12:55.979+02:00more updatesReports from missionaries have been that things are a lot quieter today and some of the mozambican staff was able to walk (hours) into the center today to help out because not all the buses were up and runnning. Food supplies for the children were able to be restocked today and a few emergency errands were run by some of the missionaries. It was quieter around the center, but there are still reports of a bit of rioting in the city. There is a call for more rioting on the 6th when 50,000 are supposed to take to the streets.....continue praying for the government and the city of maputo as well as provisions and safety for the center!<br />
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link to the latest article from today http://www.reliefweb.int/rw/rwb.nsf/db900sid/MCOI-88XCDC?OpenDocument&rc=1&cc=mozerinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10389647000861315289noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4480835095288800432.post-38072631700047046702010-09-02T18:46:00.004+02:002010-09-03T00:12:18.868+02:00Riot updates!An email from Meghann today stated they were still hearing gunfire outside the center and no cars are on the roadways, due to the rioting and roadblocks set up by rioters. Please continue praying for Maputo and for the safety of the kids at the center!<br />
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updated article link re today's rioting: http://www.reliefweb.int/rw/rwb.nsf/db900SID/FERB-88WDDL?OpenDocument&rc=1&cc=mozerinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10389647000861315289noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4480835095288800432.post-87076294728259506842010-09-02T00:36:00.001+02:002010-09-02T00:52:18.628+02:00Update on riotsI got 2 emails from missionaries on the base where I lived for the last 2 years...one from the director and one from a nurse that helped with all the Baby House tots....excerpts below in regards to the effects of the riots, God's protection, and prayer needs!<br />
<br />
All of the tots are ok tonight! We did have tear gas in the center earlier today and mainly<br />
the girls were affected. They spent most of the day hidden in one of the tiny rooms in the girls' area with wet t-shirts wrapped over their mouths and noses. Other than them, our guards, and a few missionaries getting affected by tear gas, it actually was a quiet day. I was<br />
blown away by God's peace here in the midst of the craziness outside. There was a bus overturned and set on fire outside the center walls,several people killed in the city, lots of noise and gun shots around,the Total station (gas station) down the road was burned down, NONE of our workers could get here...it is terrible out there but God's grace and peace covered us and the kids today. The kids were acting like it was a snow day...no school, movies, and playing ALL day. The affects of tear gas were quick and with no lasting affects. Seriously it was<br />
miraculous. Keep the prayers coming, especially for workers and the government. Aurora (our Mozambican BH nurse) got stranded on her way here this morning. She called in a panic because she couldn't get home and she couldn't get here...they were burning 2 cars in front of her and she was helpless. She eventually found a tia (one of our female Moz workers that cares for children) and is staying at her house until things settle down. Praise God for her safety and so many others.<br />
<br />
<br />
Today is September 1 and we are in the midst of riots in Maputo. In July this year the price of passports (for Mozambicans) rose 600%, visitor visas 500% and our annual permanent resident documents (for non-nationals claiming residency in Moz) went from $80 to $700 each. Today September 1 the price of a bus ride doubled, bread rose by 30% and the price of a 50 kg bag of rice is more than half a months salary for an average Mozambican (if he is one of the 18% of people that has a job). So today the people rioted -upturned buses and burned them right <br />
outside our base, looted shops, burnt tires, petrol stations and threw rocks and bricks. The city was closed down as were schools and the airport and the official figure is 6 dead.<br />
The police and army are controlling the rioters and streets with tear gas. It is now 4pm (in Moz) and it is quiet. We will wait and see what happens tonight and again in the morning. We are all safe and sound in our compound here -except for runny eyes from tear gas. No workers here <br />
today but the missionaries, educators and children prayed and played together -no school today.<br />
This is Mozambique -still the 6th poorest country in the world and living in such difficult circumstances. Please pray with us for a miraculous breakthrough.<br />
<br />
Praise God for His protection so far, but continue praying for them overnight and into the day tomorrow as they see if this will continue! With over 300 children living in the center, continue praying for a hedge of protection surrounding the center!<br />
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click on these 2 links for pics taken right outside of our center and reports from 2 of the missionary girls living there: Meghann http://nurseinmozambique.blogspot.com/2010/09/riots-in-streets.html and Emily http://mozambiquetwentyten.blogspot.com/2010/09/riots.htmlerinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10389647000861315289noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4480835095288800432.post-71177183776895498012010-09-01T17:11:00.000+02:002010-09-01T17:12:13.598+02:00Emergency PRAYER request<DIV><FONT size=2 face=Arial> <DIV><FONT size=2 face=Arial>It's been awhile since I've sent one of these, but I have an emergency request....the city I lived in for the last 2 years, Maputo, Mozambique, is experiencing heavy rioting at the moment. There are protests about the rising cost of food (especially bread) and rioters early this morning (their morning as they are 6-7 hrs ahead) started throwing stones, setting tires on fire, and ransacking shops. The rioting has escalated and though the center where I lived is 45 minutes away from downtown, the baby house children I served are being affected by the tear gas the police have used in attempt to break up the rioters. I know very little as news like this isn't reported very well internationally and I just received a short text msg from a former missionary who had received it from one of our current missionaries there. Please pray! I'll keep updates (as I can get them) on my blog at <A title="http://www.emptyhandedbutalive.blogspot.com CTRL + Click to follow link" href="http://www.emptyhandedbutalive.blogspot.com/">www.emptyhandedbutalive.blogspot.com</A> as I have a message cap of total messages I can send out during the day! Pray for safety-physical, health, and emotional for the tiny tots that live there, for the Mozambican women that are the primary care givers for these children, but have families/children at home they probably can't get in touch with and don't know if they are ok or not, for the missionaries living there, far from home with worrying family. Give the nurses there knowledge to take care of any of the medical problems that might arise from the use of tear gas and favor of safe passage to the hospital if an emergency with one of the kids would arise (as protesting often leads to major roadblocks). Pray for the rioting to cease and for wisdom for government officials over policies and how they affect the millions of people that can't affect a meal a day in their own country. They have also passed water and electricity price hikes set to increase dramatically this month too! </FONT></DIV> <DIV><FONT size=2 face=Arial></FONT> </DIV> <DIV><FONT size=2 face=Arial>links to articles concerning and places to watch for more info:</FONT></DIV> <DIV><A title="http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/worldnews/africaandindianocean/mozambique/7975093/Six-dead-in-Mozambique-riots-over-food.html CTRL + Click to follow link" href="http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/worldnews/africaandindianocean/mozambique/7975093/Six-dead-in-Mozambique-riots-over-food.html">http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/worldnews/africaandindianocean/mozambique/7975093/Six-dead-in-Mozambique-riots-over-food.html</A></DIV> <DIV><A title="http://www.africanews.com/site/Police_clash_with_protesters_in_Mozambique/list_messages/34403 CTRL + Click to follow link" href="http://www.africanews.com/site/Police_clash_with_protesters_in_Mozambique/list_messages/34403">http://www.africanews.com/site/Police_clash_with_protesters_in_Mozambique/list_messages/34403</A></DIV> <DIV><A title="http://www.mg.co.za/article/2010-09-01-two-children-shot-dead-in-mozambique-riots CTRL + Click to follow link" href="http://www.mg.co.za/article/2010-09-01-two-children-shot-dead-in-mozambique-riots">http://www.mg.co.za/article/2010-09-01-two-children-shot-dead-in-mozambique-riots</A></DIV></FONT></DIV>erinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10389647000861315289noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4480835095288800432.post-7197559305883785562010-08-29T06:44:00.001+02:002010-08-29T07:01:43.862+02:00The last month<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;">Well, it's been almost a month since I last posted....somehow I don't feel like I have much to contribute here, but I owe it to everyone supporting and praying for me to update you on what I've been doing.....besides just adjusting.</span><br />
<br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;"></span>I spoke at Pendleton United Methodist Church and shared about what I had been doing in Moz since my last visit, why I'm giving my life away to serve His people, and what I'm up to for this next year. PUMC is always a joy to go visit and speak at cause it's the church I grew up in since I was 2. My parents and sister still attend there and in typical small town church fashion, I know the majority of the members. For such a small church, they support me in a big way and for that I'm blessed and thankful.<br />
<br />
A few weeks ago I got to speak at Fellowship Bible Church here in Nashville. They are my home church and have supported me before I left and continue to support me. I love the heart of that church! I was blessed to get to speak in a capacity I rarely get to speak in....they asked me to speak to the 1st grade classes during their 4 services as they had been doing a whole unit on missionaries, other countries, and God's heart for missions. So I prepared a small slide show to visually show the kids how the life of the kids in Moz greatly differs from their own lives here. Then I shared the heart of God for their brothers and sisters in Christ and encouraged them to find their own mission field here in Nashville, in their own neighborhoods and schools and to live out this verse (one of my favs):<br />
<br />
<div style="direction: ltr; language: en-GB; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-left: 0in; margin-top: 0pt; mso-line-break-override: none; punctuation-wrap: hanging; text-align: center; unicode-bidi: embed; word-break: normal;"> </div><div style="direction: ltr; language: en-GB; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-left: 0in; margin-top: 0pt; mso-line-break-override: none; punctuation-wrap: hanging; text-align: center; unicode-bidi: embed; word-break: normal;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;">“Speak up for those who cannot speak for themselves, for the rights of the destitute.</span></div><div style="direction: ltr; language: en-GB; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-left: 0in; margin-top: 0pt; mso-line-break-override: none; punctuation-wrap: hanging; text-align: center; unicode-bidi: embed; word-break: normal;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;"> </span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;">Speak up and judge fairly; defend the rights of the poor and needy.”</span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;">-Proverbs 31: 8-9</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;"><br />
</span></div><div style="text-align: center;"> </div><div style="text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;">As far as speaking engagements go...I have 2 more pinned down in September in Auburn, AL....one in a cultural class back at my old nursing school at Auburn University and at least once at the Christian fellowship group I was part of while in college, the Auburn Wesley Foundation. I'm super excited about both of these opportunities and will give you more specific details soon when they are nailed down a bit better!</span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;"><br />
</span> </div><div style="text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;">I started work 4 weeks ago and it's been good....ok not the 3 adult floor shifts I was forced to do (we all know how i feel about big people patients), but it's good and I'm excited about working there.....you wanna know 2 good reasons....a-FREE parking in downtown Nashville less than a block away from work....shut it! I used to pay a ridiculous amount to go to work everyday. Stupid big cities. b-their mission statement is THIS: </span><br />
<div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;"></span>Rooted in the loving ministry of Jesus as healer, we commit ourselves to serving all persons with special attention to those who are poor and vulnerable.</div><div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">Our Catholic health ministry is dedicated to spiritually centered, holistic care which sustains and improves the health of individuals and communities.<o:p></o:p></div><div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">We are advocates for a compassionate and just society through our actions and our words.</div><div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: left;">And it's not just written down some place, or plastered on their walls, or put in pamphlets, or posted on their webpage (although you can find it in all of those places)....it's what they LIVE OUT and encourage you to LIVE OUT. And in this day and age as a healthcare worker in a hospital setting, being able to openly ask my patient's families if i can pray with them is incredibly FREEING and exciting!</div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">School started this week and is kicking my BUTT!!!!! Ok, it's just going to take a bit of getting used to but, it's seriously a full-time job (think over 40 hours a week) and it's stressing me out a bit! But I know this is God's plan and it's why I'm in the States for this season and I'm excited about the classes I'm taking. So, I'm attempting to make the most of it. The classes are going to be a huge blessing and are so applicable. This semester I'm taking 4: Environmental health in resource limited environments (all about water and sanitation and stuff like that); Nutrition in resource limited environments (how nutrition affects disease processes and how to be nutritious in places where food is severely lacking); Maternal child health (pregnancy and children in developing nations); and Refugees and internally displaced persons' health (topics especially related to this special population) Prayers over the next 8 weeks as I finish this round of classes would be much appreciated....especially when I start working night shift and more of my time is eaten up by work and sleeping!</div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">I know I say it often, but it's because it's true.....thank you for all the support and prayers ya'll give me. I am truly blessed and cannot thank you all enough!</div></div>erinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10389647000861315289noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4480835095288800432.post-54287631640545835722010-07-29T21:53:00.000+02:002010-07-29T21:53:27.186+02:00The last few weeksWell, I've been home for 7 weeks now. Where has the time gone? Yikes! So WHAT have I been up to? Well......<br />
<br />
<br />
<ul><li>I'm mostly moved into Court's house in Nashville.....</li>
<li>I'm starting work on August 2nd at Baptist Hospital! YEAH!</li>
<li>2 weeks later I start (scary) graduate school</li>
<li>I (finally) started and completed my video covering my 2 years in Moz.....I'm pumped to share it with you cause it's all about God's love and His heart for missions and why YOU should be fired up too!, but you'll have to wait till most everyone that'll see it in person gets to see it first! so there. invite me to come see you and you'll see it a heck of a lot sooner! (hint hint) ;)</li>
<li>I'm speaking at Pendleton United Methodist this Sunday</li>
<li>Next Sunday, I'm excited to be sharing with 4 services of first graders on the heart of missions at Fellowship Bible in Nashville </li>
<li>I've been to a wedding shower, bachelorette party, and I'm going to a baby shower tomorrow</li>
<li>I've struggled with finding and deciding upon an individual medical plan which has litterally eaten up DAYS of my life that I will NEVER get back....but I think it will be settled by Monday.</li>
<li>I'm slowly processing the events over the last 2 days and mourning the loss of the closing of one chapter of my life and what now and the future are going to look like.....it's a process, a very slow process. Thanks for bearing with me.</li>
</ul><div>Well, it doesn't feel like a lot but it is and it's kept me busy, but I've been able to rest too! I'm blessed and miss everyone and everything back in Moz, but I'm happy here too! Thanks for all the prayers.....stay in touch!!!!</div><br />
erinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10389647000861315289noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4480835095288800432.post-74238733122269011742010-07-14T05:04:00.000+02:002010-07-14T05:04:00.928+02:00Follow You<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_l0MzT-KgnU8/TD0kz2xRrII/AAAAAAAABa0/PL5pcWc51Hg/s1600/IMG_2403+(2).JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_l0MzT-KgnU8/TD0kz2xRrII/AAAAAAAABa0/PL5pcWc51Hg/s320/IMG_2403+(2).JPG" /></a></div><br />
<div style="text-align: center;">You live among the least of these</div><div style="text-align: center;">The weary and the weak</div><div style="text-align: center;">And it would be a tragedy</div><div style="text-align: center;">For me to turn away</div><div style="text-align: center;">All my needs You have supplied</div><div style="text-align: center;">When I was dead You gave me life</div><div style="text-align: center;">How could I not give it away so freely?</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_l0MzT-KgnU8/TD0l4eMc8_I/AAAAAAAABa8/lXiW8h-qjKA/s1600/DSC_0396.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_l0MzT-KgnU8/TD0l4eMc8_I/AAAAAAAABa8/lXiW8h-qjKA/s320/DSC_0396.JPG" /></a></div><div style="text-align: center;">And I'll...</div><div style="text-align: center;">Follow You into the homes of the broken</div><div style="text-align: center;">Follow You into the world</div><div style="text-align: center;">Meet the needs for the poor and the needy, God</div><div style="text-align: center;">Follow You into the world</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_l0MzT-KgnU8/TD0mWBUSNqI/AAAAAAAABbE/Xsh-lAUASsY/s1600/2008-10-07+009.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_l0MzT-KgnU8/TD0mWBUSNqI/AAAAAAAABbE/Xsh-lAUASsY/s320/2008-10-07+009.JPG" /></a></div><div style="text-align: center;">Use my hands, use my feet</div><div style="text-align: center;">To make Your kingdom come</div><div style="text-align: center;">To the corners of the earth</div><div style="text-align: center;">Until Your work is done</div><div style="text-align: center;">Faith without works is dead</div><div style="text-align: center;">On the cross your blood was shed.</div><div style="text-align: center;">So how could we not give it away so freely?</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_l0MzT-KgnU8/TD0nu6aOPKI/AAAAAAAABbU/ceB9SEBCzdk/s1600/IMG_5200.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_l0MzT-KgnU8/TD0nu6aOPKI/AAAAAAAABbU/ceB9SEBCzdk/s320/IMG_5200.JPG" /></a></div><div style="text-align: center;">And I'll...</div><div style="text-align: center;">Follow You into the homes of the broken</div><div style="text-align: center;">Follow You into the world</div><div style="text-align: center;">Meet the needs for the poor and the needy, God</div><div style="text-align: center;">Follow You into the world</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_l0MzT-KgnU8/TD0nV67uu3I/AAAAAAAABbM/qkep2XCGtLU/s1600/IMG_5594.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_l0MzT-KgnU8/TD0nV67uu3I/AAAAAAAABbM/qkep2XCGtLU/s320/IMG_5594.JPG" /></a></div><div style="text-align: center;">And I give all myself</div><div style="text-align: center;">I give all myself</div><div style="text-align: center;">I give all myself to You</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_l0MzT-KgnU8/TD0onPO_JWI/AAAAAAAABbc/tvVDlG9WEYQ/s1600/409+(2).jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_l0MzT-KgnU8/TD0onPO_JWI/AAAAAAAABbc/tvVDlG9WEYQ/s320/409+(2).jpg" /></a></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-small;">-lyrics by Leeland</span></div>erinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10389647000861315289noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4480835095288800432.post-15809280439055671262010-07-10T06:49:00.000+02:002010-07-10T06:49:40.505+02:00Undeniably BlessedSo, ya’ll are probably wondering what other things have worked out since I’ve been home and updates to all my plans. Since I finally have officialness on my details, I can reveal them.....because God is so good and I am so immensely blessed. It is truly overwhelming and I am daily amazed by all the details He has so perfectly orchestrated. <br />
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I will be starting orientation for my job August 2<sup>nd</sup>, a bit later than anticipated, but I know this is His perfect timing. It is a wonderful job that I am so excited about. I will be working per diem, picking up shifts as they need extra help in the Neonatal Intensive Care Unit at Baptist Hospital in Nashville. One of my old assistant managers from when I was working at Vanderbilt is now the manager of the unit and I LOVE her. They have a brand new, updated, gorgeous, and bigger unit with more beds. And the best part? The hospital is built on Christian principles. Their value and mission statement are focused on serving the poor and needy and spreading God’s love. You are welcomed and ENCOURAGED to pray with your patients and their families. When I worked per diem there for 5 months in 2007 I was overwhelmed with the environment. The nurses and respiratory therapists and secretaries and anyone working that shift would gather together at the beginning of every shift morning and evening and hold hands and pray. There were prayer cards at each bedside. The staff shared prayer requests, praises, and answered prayers with each other in the break room! Such an inviting and encouraging place to work and help heal. Even better? God is using this to bless me financially. The pay is 2x what I used to make as a staff nurse and while I won’t be able to work full-time because of grad school, I will still be able to pay off graduate school (all 26 out of state hours) in full while putting some away for retirement and savings (which I haven’t put one penny into either in the last 2 years). Ya’ll have blessed me by stepping up and out in faith and obedience of God and continuing to support me while I’m home. I still have 2/3 of my normal support, which will perfectly (and I do mean perfectly) cover my living expenses while I’m home.<br />
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<div class="MsoNormal"><span lang="EN-US">I will start my online graduate certificate program in Global Health through the public health college at University of Alabama mid August. And it’s looking more and more like I will be home till the end of July 2011. Why? Well, truly, God only knows, but also, because the way graduate classes are falling it would be practically impossible to take them while overseas. After talking with many different programs and many people in online graduate programs along with acknowledging that the internet in Moz is at best, worse than old school dial up, and the fact that I want to finish these programs in my lifetime, coupled with lots of prayer, I’ve seen how God knew what He was doing with letting me think I’d only be home till January. I might not have ever left Moz. ;) So I’ll be able to take 8 hrs this fall, hopefully 7 in the spring (including starting my certificate in Maternal Child Health), and then 6 in the summer. By the end of July 2011, I will have finished my UAB certificate in Global Health and only have 5 hrs to take the following summer to complete my Maternal Child Health. So I’ll be ready to go back on the field for 10 months, before coming home for a break and my last summer of classes! Did I mention that thankfully God didn’t allow my car to sell 2 years ago when I put it on the market? Well, it didn’t and I still have my car which is making this whole thing even easier. I don’t know what I would have done for this season without a car!<o:p></o:p></span><br />
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</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span lang="EN-US">I miss Mozambique terribly. Some days it’s unbearable. But God is carrying me through and I’m excited about this season and all the things He has for me and Mozambique in the future. I cannot say enough how truly blessed I am. With June completed, I have started looking at dates to speak with churches and groups so please contact me again if you had said you’d like for me to come so we can lock in dates and details. I think you’d be blessed to see the faces of the people you have blessed by giving so much of yourselves to me! I have so many stories to tell of His faithfulness and where I see Him leading me in the future. Thanks for praying and walking this journey with me. </span></div>erinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10389647000861315289noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4480835095288800432.post-11598356210995652192010-07-05T06:52:00.000+02:002010-07-05T06:52:59.920+02:00Nashville boundIt's been 5 weeks since I've left Mozambique. Some days its easy to forget that I spent the last 2 years of my life there. Some days are hard and I miss everything about being there. Someday are even harder. But it's been a good transition so far, and I've spent the last month with my immediate family in SC and extended family in LA. It's been such a blessing. While I've gotten tons done, I've also rested and attempted to process a bit. But just a bit (I'm a GREAT avoider/procrastinator).<div><br />
</div><div>So now that I've forwarded my mail, changed my address with the banks, renewed and changed my address for my TN driver's license, reactivated my TN nursing license, changed my address with my voter registration people, updated my address for my CA nursing license, applied for a per diem nursing job, updated my resume, created my CV, and applied to graduate school......it's time.......to move back to NASHVILLE.</div><div><br />
</div><div>I'm excited about being back to see everyone. On Thursday I'll have an interview for the job I applied for....and I should start graduate school (online) in August. I'm still working out tiny details. Scratch that. God's still divulging all the tiny details He's already worked out. So I'll let everyone know more when I do, but I can't wait to be back at my church and fellowshipping with my friends who I have missed terribly since being gone! </div><div><br />
</div><div>I'm super pumped, too, about living with Courtney! She assured me multiple times, that my new room is completely barren and undecorated minus the mattress and box spring.....to which I replied multiple times that all I need is a bed and a room and I'm golden. After all, I've spent the last 2 years staring at pretty barren cement block walls day in and out.....I think I can get through the next 6 months or so without needing all the extras. After much thought, a few tough days, and an amazing 50% off sale at an already amazingly cheap store.....I decided to pick up a few frames and print some photos to place around on the walls to remind me of where I've come, why I'm here for the moment, and where I'm going!</div><div><br />
</div><div>Also, I'm starting to look at nailing down dates to visit cities and speak with groups. If you've already talked with me about making plans when I'm ready.....well, I'm ready.....so email me back and let's find something that works for everyone! If you haven't already contacted me, think about it, and let me know. I can't wait to visit with everyone that's been faithfully supporting me over the last 2 years and share what God's been up to and where I'm headed. Prayers for everything is appreciated!</div><div><br />
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</div>erinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10389647000861315289noreply@blogger.com0