Joy and Despair

Joy and despair married together.

These pictures from the Bocaria flooded through my inbox this week reminding me of the faces I haven't been able to remove from my mind since I returned. I'm praying for a respite time between now and when I leave. I need renewal and peace; a quiet that I haven't found outside of Mozambique. I've had a hard time since returning because my heart is not here in Nashville anymore and waiting to be reunited has produced some of the hardest moments in my life. I think I need grace in this time. I'm finding it hard to serve where He has me for these last few months. I never thought I would say it, but I'm ready to leave Nashville. I'm unclear which of the two realities is the more difficult one.

Setting my eyes on His kingdom...

The Lord has promised good to me

His word my hope secures

He will my shield and portion be

As long as life endures

My chains are gone

I've been set free

My God, my Savior has ransomed me

The earth shall soon dissolve like snow

The sun forbear to shine

But God, Who called me here below

Will be forever mine

-"Amazing Grace" by Chris Tomlin

Video Update

Ok, so this is my last posting for awhile. I think I've finished telling about most of my time there. I thought I'd finish it with a few videos from around Zimpeto.

**If you've just started looking at my updates from this trip....they start on 9/19 so you'll have to click on SEPT in the right hand column toward the bottom and work your way back. I compressed my journaling into a few days at a time and points of interest plus a few pics. I hope you enjoy. My prayer requests and major updates surrounding the trip are on the post titled Back Home on 10/4. You may have to click on OCT. in the right hand column to see all the Oct. blogs since only a few at a time are shown on the main page. Again thanks to everyone who has been supporting me this last year. Ya'll are amazing and I have been truly blessed by each of you!**

Worship: here's a small taste of what worship was like at Iris. This was the community service on Sunday mornings.

Sounds from Iris: this was the soundtrack we heard most nights because the girls compound was right next to the visitor's compound...(video taken by my roomie Rachel)

http://myspacetv.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=vids.individual&videoid=19547735

Baby Prayers: The babies were oh too precious. They prayed and sang songs before every meal! Here's 2 video's from one of my roommates Rachel:

http://myspacetv.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=vids.individual&videoid=19545197

http://myspacetv.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=vids.individual&videoid=19543681

10/1/07 Monday

Saturday I spent the afternoon and evening with the girls. They are given daily chores and responsibilities so they can be self-sufficient and have skills for when it comes time to leave the center. The older girls are expected to help take care of the younger ones, there is raking, and sweeping, and cleaning to do. Once a week the girls cook their own meal for the whole girl's compound. From start to finish...grinding the miaze, cutting the veggies, shredding the coconut, cooking, serving, washing the dishes, ect. Apparently I walked in at the right moment because I was immediately grabbed, shoved towards a seat, greens placed in my hand. I was told to sit...do this...and left to figure out what the heck I was supposed to be doing....all the girls, including the little ones were going at it, peeling the greens....and LAUGHING at me in Portuguese. So now I can say I've officially helped cook a traditional Mozambican meal and even eaten it with my fingers just like them!
Yesterday was our last worship service before going home. Every Sunday they have a time of blessing for all the short-termers or any missionaries that it is their last Sunday. You sit on the edge of the stage and then all the little kids run up, wrap a capalana around you, lay tiny hands on you and pray for you. I cannot really explain those emotions. First it is amazing enough to just hear all these little kids feverently praying over you . Then all the hands pressing on you....it was just too precious! An amazing blessing, even if I couldn't understand all they were saying. I again made my way to the baby house section and worshiped with them. Something that has been a theme for the week is how we each are CHILDREN of God. We should have faith like them; dance, sing and worship before Him as though we are. He is our Father and begs for us to come crawl into and rest in His love! How often do I take this message to heart? I am being taught this daily by the people of Mozambique by their utter dependence on Him for everything from their provisions to their joy. I was reminded by a small 3 yr old who grabbed both my hands during worship and started teaching me a dance she was making up at the exact same time. She was too cute. I don't think I've had that much fun in a really long time.

Today I spent the day doing the last ofs....last staff worship service...last time with the beautiful girls in the girls dorm...last moments in the baby house....last bowl of rice with some yummy topping....last youth worship service in the city. It was really hard as I am not ready to leave here in the morning. I can hardly wait to come back. This evening at the youth service I watched a room full of young men and wome come to the front so hungry for you....dedicating their lives, arms stretched out to you, tears streaming down their face. You can see His life in their eyes, the earnestness, the passion. In each of these moments I feel as though I'm watching Isaiah 58 being fulfilled right before my eyes. You are doing something so amazing with these people and through this ministry!

9/28/2007 Friday

We were blessed to get a chance to go on safari for a day to Kruger National Park in South Africa. Our guide was an Iris missionary couple helping to start a base there in SA. They do no recieve financial support, but instead work FT jobs and work for Iris. Lynne, works doing Safaris. They drove 3 hrs each way to pick us up from the Zimpeto base and then welcomed us into their home for 2 nights. We had an amazing time and it was such a needed respite, before returning back to Mozambique. The most striking thing about the experience was crossing the border into and out of SA. I wish i could have stood on the border line and taken a picture to display the scene. One side completely 3rd world (except we like to think of it as 3.5) and then the other was 1st world...that close, just feet away from each other. It was crazy how different the countries were.

Upon returning to Zimpeto, I had a lengthy conversation with 2 of the short-termers that were there at the same time as we were. We discovered something truly amazing. Last Sunday at worship, one of the team members from SA shared a phrophetic word and a vision she had...a message she felt God was leading her to give to the Mozambicans as encouragement. As she was reading and describing her dream. I was brought to tears, because it mimiced a promise God gave me almost exactly a yr ago to that date. As I was deciding to come to Africa and spending much time in prayer and scripture reading I was given a passage that has become my word, my promise from Him that speaks about His work in Mozambique and where He wanted me to join Him. The first was more for me, the 2nd part speaks more to them.

"Is not this the fast that I choose: to loose the bonds of wickedness, to undo the straps of the yoke, to let the oppressed go free, and to break every yoke? Is it not to share your bread with the hungry and bring the homeless poor into your house; when you see the naked, to cover him, and not to hide yhourself from your own flesh? Then shall yhour light break forth like the dawn, and your healing shall spring up speedily; your righteousness shall go before you; the gory of the Lord shall be your rear guard. Then you shall call, and the Lord will answer; you shall cry, and he will say, 'Here I am.' If you take away the yoke from your midst, the pointing of the finger, and speaking wickedness, if you pour yourself out for the hungry and satisfy the desire of the afflicted, then shall your light rise in the darkness and your gloom be as the noonday. And the Lord will guide you continually and satisfy your desire in scorched places and make your bones strong; and you shall be like a watered garden, like a spring of water, whose waters do not fail. And your ancient ruins shall be rebuilt; you shall raise up the foundations of many generations; you shall be called the repairer of the breach, the restorer of streets to dwell in."

-Isaiah 58:6-12

I did not share what passage it was just made mention of it and what it said. The couple shared with me that they too had been given verses on monday confirming what she had given during worship. He was to share with the rest of the group later that night. When we all got together he started sharing the passage and it was exactly the same verses I had been given. It was such a powerful thing to know that 3 of us had recieved the same promises about Mozambique and what He is doing through Iris here....all from 3 different continents and at different times, and then brought us all together for a short week in Maputo.

Further confirming this anytime I was asked to pray with someone, I felt led by the Spirit to pray that He raise up generations, an army for Him and His purpose that they might have a hunger for Him, longing and growing deeper and intimately more in love with Him; that they would become lights (out of the bocaria, out of Iris, out of downtown) and shine brightly, spreading like wildfire to Maputo, then Mozambique, and on. When talking with these children and the ministers at the bible school Iris taught on base, it was their desire to BE the missionaries and go out to the world and spread the gospel. They envisioned the time that they would no longer need missionaries to come to Mozambique, but they would be sent out. They have such a precious spirit! I wish I could describe their genuine enthusiasm and love for the Lord better.

9/26/07 Wednesday

Monday we had a staff worship service. Pastor Jose is such a joyous man, filled with laughter and praises for our Lord. He insisted that ALL of us needed to ask for more joy from the Lord and that we needed to dance in praise, along with the Mozambicans.....so we danced, traditional mozambican style. I have sense begun referring to it as mozambican aerobics, because that's what it feels like...we could hardly keep up....and they enjoyed laughing at us. That night I went into the city for the youth worship service that one of the smaller Iris bases hosts. Zimpeto brings a huge flatbed truck filled with the older kids from the center that want to attend. It was so encouraging to see the room filled with so many youth giving their lives tot he Lord, singing and praying. Most of these kids aren't from the center and haven't grown up with constant preaching and teaching, so it was refreshing to see how Iris is really moving through the community.

Tuesday was Mozambique's Independence Day so none of the kids were in school. I spent most of the day with the girls in their quarters watching movies, laughing, and allowing them to play with my hair (which they LOVE to do). They help me learn more portuguese and I help them learn more English....it's so cute they go around acting like parrots and repeating everything you say!

Today I spent the morning where my heart is the most....in the baby house. They have about 40 children 3 and under that live here. They are too precious! The toddlers hardly speak any English so it's always fun trying to understand what they are jabbering about and what they want you to do. The littlest are my most favorite....crawling around and just learning to walk. They quickly find their favorite visitor and latch on, all fighting for attention and love. With their being quite a few mouths to feed, I love going in when it's time for bottles or lunch/dinner time to help feed the tykes. They are so resiliant. They have pictures up of alot of the children from when they were brought to the center and to see them now is amazing. Today another baby was brought in. He was 18months old, but weighed about 8 lbs and looked like a 3-5 month old. He was abandoned by his mom because he has a disability and his grandmother who loves him so much is way to sick herself to care for him. She had been coming in weekly to the base to the milk program they run out of the clinic here. They had been following his progress and she finally tearfully decided it was time to hand him over. He hardly responds to anything, rarely cries, doesn't make or keep any form of eye contact, and barely moves his arms and legs (so they are all contracted and stiff), plus he is really malnourished. Today helped me realize how much I want to be here and help these sweet babies and their families!

This afternoon a team from South Africa brought bead supplies, so we all sat and made bracelets and necklaces. The kids really enjoyed it and went for 2 hrs making as many as they could. It was a neat treat for them!