2 months and 1 house later

I can't believe it's been 2 months.  Just a bit ago, one of my closest friends told me something like..."I can't believe it...you are one of the LAST people I expected to be settling down and buying a house."  And that's exactly how I feel about it too....we're on the same page.  Slight disbelief, mixed with complete peace, sprinkled with a bit of crazy.  And yet...it's so right.  I can't really question it.  From the moment I said yes to this whole crazy scheme God concocted, it has been so easy and peaceful and blessed.  His hand has been ALL over it.  And even in the milisecond I attempt to question it....I do something like drive home and see the city from the side I'm living on now and something in me SCREAMS:  HOME!!!  (ps-if you've never seen the city from the East side of the Broad River at NIGHT...well....if you had, you'd agree).

I'm sitting here on my couch in my new old house, drinking coffee, surrounded by half empty boxes and paint cans and groupings of things I need to sort through.  I just received an email from a sweet friend living in the Netherlands.  We spent a year working together in Mozambique.  I just finished replying-catching up on life and sharing where God is leading us.  Yesterday I skype-chatted with a close friend living in England whom I also spent 18 months working with in Mozambique.  2 days ago I received a package from Malaysia.  A sweet supporter and prayer partner whom I've never met physically but have shared many emails and prayers with had sent me such an encouraging note and gift for my birthday.  3 days ago I spoke to a dear friend I met right here in Nashville...she's in Kenya now, serving as a missionary.  She left just a few months after I returned home. We spent over 2 hrs together just sharing how God is working in our lives and all the girly fun friend stuff too that never seems to matter, but it so does when you're living transculturally and so far from friends and family (it seems everyone just wants to know about the big stuff).  4 days ago I was sitting in church (yes on a SATURDAY-I like the Sat evening service).  I was sitting there waiting for my friend to meet me and I opened up the bulletin and realized it was the first weekend in December which means the start of us as a church family talking about missions...Global missions.  We share and learn and listen and discuss how we can have less under our tree so we can give more to the world....where it's truly needed.  And this particular weekend, we had all our global partners from around the world back here to speak to us.  As I sat there and saw many of them dressed in traditional clothing and heard their familiar accents; the hesitations in speaking a language that is not their first, or even their second to share how God is working in their lives, through our church, and in the lives of the people God has called them to serve......I sat there.....having a bittersweet moment.  The kind where you have a peace about where you are and KNOW and BELIEVE it is right but have a bit of longing and aching in your heart for the other part too. I had closed on my house 3 days prior, had spent my first night in my new old house the night before and just 2 hrs earlier I had been opening boxes.  Bittersweet.  It made it all feel so permanent.  Well....at least for this season permanent.

It's just been one of those weeks....where I've looked around and say....HOW did I get here???  Who am I to have friends ALL over the world?  To have experienced all that I have in these 30ish (yeah yeah almost 31) years?  Did I really just buy a HOUSE?  And am I really deserving of all that God has just blessed me with?

But I know the ending to this...."to whom much is given, much is required" (Luke 12:48)....and I'm living out the required part.  Well I'm trying my best to live out the required part.  It's a daily kinda thing.  For today (and today only)....I’m committed to doing THIS.  just THIS.  and tomorrow I’ll do tomorrow’s portion as He places it in front of me.  and in that way....it's a bit easier to manage.  "And HE determined the times set for them and the EXACT places where they should LIVE.....In Him we LIVE and MOVE and have our being" (Acts 17:26-28).  I'm trying to live and move and just BE, just rest in Him...especially in this season of change and new beginnings.  And I know I am blessed and so excited to give it all back......

(So yeah....I have a house....and I love it....and it's perfect and overwhelmingly more than I asked for...there's a story in that, but maybe for another cold day and another cup of coffee....today, right now, it's time to paint...I'll post pics soon!)

No comments: