The question

I get one question a lot. it's often THE question. why I'm in Mozambique and why I'm doing what I am.....maybe not in those exact words, maybe it's in facial expressions, or often in nice polite southern ways of asking pointed questions without actually asking them, but sometimes it looks exactly like that. truth is....I know what you mean when you ask me. and I'd be lying if I said that I don't think the same thing from time to time. I certainly thought it before I came here. another truth is.....I don't have a really good answer for you. ok, I mean I do. and man is it good. I just mean, I often can't really put it into words and sum it up and wrap it into a nice little neat package like you want/need/will understand.

the short answer: God. He called me and to here, this place, and so here I am. for however long. till He says. doing/serving where and how He says.

the long answer: gotcha....like I'm even going to attempt that one on here right now. it's long.

the medium version is the one I'm trying to formulate and articulate better so that I can better describe the why and the what without bumbling like an idiot when asked. cause like I said. I have an answer. and man is it good. The other night after a particularly good day, a worship song was washing over me and scripture kept running through my head....and two pictures stuck. it's the reason. and while I can't use this in a conversation.....I can show you through this media......so maybe this will answer the why and the what. Warning: it's not so nice and neat.

"I have REDEEMED YOU; I have called YOU by your name, YOU are mine."
-Isaiah 43:1

I know and accept this, with all of my heart, as TRUTH. It is essentially the life force and motivation behind all my actions.

on admit
with Dino, a child his same age who was in the almost the same condition just a year previously

Lord I give You my heart
I give You my soul,
I live for You alone
Every breath that I take,
Every moment I'm awake
Lord, have Your way in me
-lyrics by Reuben Morgan

This is the only way I know how to respond to Him; to what He's given me. It's never even close to enough, but it's all I have. How thankful I am that He never asks us to repay Him. It's free and so am I.

Just a few days ago!
It's Latifo (pictured above), a complete miracle with full blown AIDS, dying from malnutrition, less than 10 lbs, barely able to sit, and almost 2.5 yrs old. 7 months later, finally walking and talking and ALIVE-physically and emotionally and pretty healthy, weighing in at 26 lbs.

It's D, who couldn't even sit up at 10 months, didn't smile or laugh, wouldn't make eye contact and was constantly sick. He had given up on life and refused food for WEEKS. After 6 wks of living with me and finally bonding to another person, he started turning around. Now after a year of living in a smaller environment and learning to trust and love and bond....he's walking, smiling, laughing, playing, talking and almost NEVER sick!

It's dozens of other babies and tots that I am absolutely blessed and privileged to care for, to breathe life into, to hold, and love, and dream with. I have watched HIM transform them right before my very eyes. And I can't do HIM justice to try to describe the beauty and paradox of these miracles amidst one of the poorest places in the world. But I do know, that what He did for me; how He redeemed me and called me; He has and is continuing to do for EACH and EVERY ONE of these that I am serving.

And I don't understand it. I can't explain it. Especially not eloquently. And I have no clue why He called me. But He did. So I'm here. And I have no clue how or when it's going to end. or even how it's going to look tomorrow. But He's faithful and good and I'm trusting in Him for each and everyone of the steps He's laid and numbered before me.
Now there's the adventure.


ΐňсańĐεśŒnŧ said...

Go go go Erin! Is a journey of no regrets! Keep loving! Keep giving a piece of His heart to the little ones! That's the best way to live. Am supporting you here with constant prayers ;)

erin said...

Thanks Jaclyn! You know how much your prayers and encouragement mean to me! Blessings to you for everything you have given to me!

Trent said...

Well, I think that is a pretty good answer. Thanks.