You’re the King of these people
You’re the Lord of this nation
You are
You’re the light in this darkness
You’re the peace to the restless
You are
There is no one like our God
There is no one like our God
Greater things have yet to come
And greater things are still to be done in this city
Greater things have yet to come
And greater things are still to be done in this city
There is no one like our God
There is no one like our God
We believe
Greater things have yet to come
And greater things are still to be done in this city
We believe
Greater things have yet to come
And greater things are still to be done in this city
We believe, we believe greater things
Greater things, greater things
Greater things, greater things
-Chris Tomlin
December 2nd was officially my 6 month mark. Sometimes it feels like so much longer when I consider all those I haven’t seen in such a long time or the conveniences of a first world country I don’t have access to, or even simple things like driving (I haven’t been behind the wheel in over 6 months). It feels like yesterday most of the time though. Guess that’s a good thing, huh? I have 2 friends in town, received my first package and letter the other day, have finally taken my first big break out of the center for respite (5 nights and 6 days off the center), and am starting to plan my respite back to the States in Feburary. All this started me to reflect on these last 6 months and look to the future. I found a few similarities that I find sorta comical….to learn from my mistakes see below (of course this is if you don’t wanna live life to the fullest or spend every minute of your life worshiping God for the amazing supplier, protector, Father, and Lord he is).
List of the things I said I never wanted to do or would be caught alive doing so close to my 28th bday:
- Work 5 days a week (I loved 3 12 hour shifts a week).
2. Be a missionary.
3. Live in a 3rd world country.
4. Be a nurse practioner or leave the bedside/hospital nursing (I loved hands-on care of the patients and working with their families).
5. Go back to school.
6. Be single and without children.
7. Leave the night shift (7p-7a). I hate early mornings (before 9am) and simply thrive off the night hours.
8. Be bilingual.
Now, compare that to my reality:
1. I work 24 hours a day 7 days a week essentially….all holidays, early mornings, weekends, nights, ect.
2. I am a missionary with Iris Ministries in Zimpeto (suburb of Maputo), Mozambique.
3. I live in Mozambique (and 3rd world might not be an accurate enough description for most African countries)
4. I hardly do regular, normal “nursing” as most would see it from the bedside/lots of patient contact aspect. I’m doctor/nurse practitioner, lab tech, pharmacist, nurse, dietician, physical/occupational therapist, pathologist, and a bazillion other things.
5. I’ve been taking 4 hours a week of Portuguese language for the last 6 months and just finally cut down to 2 hours last week. I constantly am reading books, searching the internet, and finding resources to help me figure out how to diagnose, treat, ect these kids with things I’ve never experienced
6. I’m single and worshiping the Lord without any clue where He’s leading me or what’s in store for the future. I have 40 children that love me and that I’m head over heels with. Literally.
7. Somedays I get up before the sun rises (around 4:30 am) for consults. I’ve down around the clock feeds every 4 hours with a sick baby in my room. I’ve gone to the BH at 2am for respiratory treatments of nebulizers for a sick toddler. I mostly work all day from 7:30am to 7p. I still HATE the mornings.
8. I get by pretty well and still can’t get over it. I’m in awe. It’s all from Him.
I have a lot of decisions I have to make in the near future. Am I going to stay longer than June? Is God calling me to stay just a little longer, another year, or much, much longer? If I’m staying longer, is this what He wants me to be focused on or do I need to shift priorities, focuses, ect. How can I focus more so I can truly center my life around Him and be living all for Him? If I’m staying there are lots more details I’ll need to sort as I had originally come into this for a year and somethings were just put on “hold” for my life back home. Why am I here and what does He want to do in and through me? I know some of the questions seem obvious to most of you but some are much deeper than the normal answer I could give. We all find that mostly God brings us out here not just for His children that need help, love, and to be served, but simply as He wants to do something in us, our hearts, our lives, a big change…..maybe I’m ignoring what that is…..or maybe I haven’t listened well enough….or I just don’t wanna face it, but I’m kinda clueless. He has changed me so much in even the last 5 years of my life without me realizing it…in preparation for the work I’m doing here. I am truly thankful and in awe of this amazing life excursion I am on. The truth is….we’re all on our own life excursions and it doesn’t matter who you are, what you do, where you live, or what skills you think you have. He can and does use you. He wants to use you and your life…..but first you have to offer yourself wholly for His worship. You must trust that all the details of your life will be sorted by Him. He is the great author of this life and just as he knew your name and the number of hairs on your head before you were even conceived…..He will make provisions for even the tiniest things in your life that most of the time we think he doesn’t care about or take time to orchestrate. He cares, he does. You are his son or daughter. He created you. You have a purpose in this life on earth. Live your life as a constant worship to him. Find the passion He has placed in your life. Use it to do good in your community, your church, your workplace, your circle of friends. It doesn’t have to be extravagant or on another continent or physically life saving. There are more important things in life than life or death matters. They are matters of the heart. I trust that He has the answers to all my questions. I will not worry. I pray for discernment in these matters and that I would not let my own flesh get in the way of what He wants to do. His timing is much better than anything I can coordinate. He knows just what I need, without me asking for it, and often times, before I even know it. Why would I doubt His goodness? Why would you? It does us all good to look back on the last month, last year, last 5 or 10 and all the amazing things He has brought you through; things He has done through and in you; His provisions and attention to details; all the things He has brought you through, at times, truly carrying you. Today, it has done my heart good to see how much different, but better my life is than I ever could have imagined; how much better He knows me than I know myself; and how much He has taken care of me in the times I thought He was leading me into the valley (oh and He was, but only so He could carry me to the most beautiful summit). I challenge you to sit and reflect a little.
I’m giving you my heart, and all that is within
I’d lay it all down for the sake of you my King
I’m giving you my dream, I’m laying down my rights
I’m giving up my pride for the promise of new life
And I surrender all to You, all to You
And I surrender all to You, all to You
I’m singing You this song, I’m waiting at the cross
And all the world holds dear, I count it all as loss
For the sake of knowing You for the glory of your name
To know the lasting joy, even sharing in your pain
And I surrender all to You, all to You
And I surrender all to You, all to You
-Marc James
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